


Something More

by alovething



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-23
Updated: 2005-12-26
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:04:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alovething/pseuds/alovething
Summary: There is nothing like a fuck buddy, but sometimes you just need something more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**AN:** _This story is really hard for me to write, because, well...some of you know. Thanks to Kami for pushing me. I AM A ROCK. I AM AN ISLAND._

* * *

Justin rocked back against Brian as he filled him completely. Moans and the pungent smell of sex lingered in the stale air of Justin’s bedroom. They were covered in shadows and sweat.

Justin bit down on his lip to keep from moaning his name. There was no one home, he could yell and scream if he wanted, but he never did. Moaning Brian’s name during sex would make it something more than it was.

And it was nothing.

Brian bit down on Justin’s shoulder. Don’t leave a mark. Never leave a mark. Never reveal the secret. He stroked Justin’s cock and the blond bit down on the palm of his hand to conceal his scream of pleasure/frustration/pain. He shot all over Brian’s chest, another amazing orgasm tainted by a secret.

Brian came too, collapsing on top of Justin with a faint groan. Justin wanted to wrap his arms around him, kiss him, hold him, fucking _touch_ him. But instead he settled with the feeling of his cock softening inside of him, and Brian’s abs rubbing against his flat boyish stomach.

But then Brian was gone. Justin looked up to see him walking out of his bathroom with a damp cloth. He wiped himself off and then tossed it to Justin. Justin absently wiped off his stomach as he watched Brian get dressed.

The awkward phase had begun.

Justin watched Brian cover his gorgeous body in denim and black satin. Brian turned towards him and he turned away. He got up to retrieve his cargoes and sighed.

Fucked without a kiss again.

Justin pulled his shirt over his head and collapsed back down on the bed. Brian fell down next to him and they both sighed. The brunet looked over and smirked. Justin closed his eyes.

Awkward stage over. They were friends again. No longer hushed lovers, just childhood friends.

“So what’s going on tonight?” Brian asked. Never talk about it. Never say one…single…word.

“I don’t know. Probably the same thing we do every night.” Justin shrugged, staring at the tacky glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. His mind flashed back to when a ten year old Brian helped them stick them up there. Seven years later, and the glue was still holding. “Michael and Emmett said something about wanting to celebrate making it to our last semester of high school.”

Brian looked over at him, damp hair hanging in shadowy eyes. His tongue found the inside of his cheek and Justin wanted it to find the inside of his mouth.

Sure, they had kissed. Plenty of times. But there was more fucking than kissing. More condoms used than intimate touches bestowed. It was almost too much for Justin to bear.

“Those guys will use any excuse to party,” Brian replied, running his hand through his hair.

“Kind of like us,” Justin told him. Brian just nodded and stood up.

“Well, let’s call Michael and Temmett,” he said, crossing the room and picking up his belt.

“I don’t wanna call them,” Justin replied lazily. “You call them.”

“You call them.”

“No, _you_ call them.” It was times like these Justin loved most, when they were just friends. Two best friends.

It was times like these Justin _almost_ forgot he was in love with him.

Suddenly Justin’s cell phone landed in the middle of his chest with a dull thud. He sat up and clasped the small silver phone in his hand. 

“You call them. I helped. I gave you the phone.” Justin rolled his eyes and made the phone calls. As he talked to their friends, Brian jumped on the bed and repeatedly poked Justin in the stomach while Justin repeatedly swatted his hand away.

Justin grabbed Brian’s hand and held it as he faced the opposite direction, engaged deep in conversation. Brian didn’t pull away.

**

Justin hopped into the passenger side of Brian’s jeep and grabbed the CD case he knew he’d find under the passenger side seat. Brian started the engine and Justin pulled an unlabeled blank CD out. 

“What’s this?” Brian looked over and then back at the road. 

“New mix,” he replied. Justin nodded and popped in the CD. He pressed random and leaned back in the seat. “The diner, I assume.”

“Where else?” The blond turned up the volume and closed his eyes, letting Brian whisk him away, even if it was just in his car.

_I was only 17_  
When I got my heart ripped clean  
How can I forgive you that? 

_Love's so confusing_  
The scenes are amusing  
I have to express how I feel 

Justin’s eyes snapped open as the words flowed from the speakers. He looked over at Brian and back at the radio. His heart beat faster and he swallowed hard. 

_One thing I know is true_  
I'll never replace you   
A memory I rewind and play 

“Wh-who is this?” Justin asked shakily. He stared at the radio suspiciously, as if it could read his thoughts. Brian looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Who? Oh, the band? Maxeen. The song is called Soleil.” His attention went back to the road then and Justin fought to keep his emotions under control. 

His relationship with Brian was such a wild roller coaster ride, but instead of feeling exhilarated and alive, he just wanted to get off and sit in the corner.

Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies.

It killed him, but he couldn’t stop.

**

Brian pulled the jeep to a screeching halt in front of the diner and both boys hopped out. Brian held open the door for Justin, as always. The blond waited right inside the door for Brian to reattach himself to his hip, as always.

They walked to their normal booth and said hello to the guys, as always.

“What took you guys so long?” Michael asked. Justin looked down at his hand on the table, interlocked with that of his boyfriend Ben’s.

“We were fucking,” Justin deadpanned.

It was okay to joke about it, acceptable to poke fun.

But have a serious conversation about it? _Never._

“Yeah, it was hot,” Brian replied, sliding in the booth next to Ted and Emmett. Justin sat on the other side, next to Michael, and promptly put his feet up on the booth on either side of Brian, as always.

“Ya know,” Emmett said, turning slightly towards Brian and Justin, “you two really should go out.” Brian rolled his eyes and Justin made a pretend face of disagreement, _as always_.

That was the thing, nothing ever changed. 

“No really, you two are perfect for each other,” Emmett continued.

This was new. Usually, he just dropped the subject. Now he pushed on, bravely. Justin raised an eyebrow and felt his stomach clench.

“Emmett,” Brian warned. Justin’s heart dropped.

“I’m just saying, you two are together every second of every day anyway. You finish each other’s sentences, eat each other’s food, and flirt like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

“We do not _flirt_ ,” Brian said indignantly. “We’re friends, nothing more.”

Justin felt physically ill. _Nothing more._ Ever.

“Emmett’s right,” Ted piped up. Justin wanted to die. “I mean, who else would put up with your shit?” Brian smirked and playfully reached back and slapped Ted on the back of the head. 

“And you guys would have the cutest babies ever!” Michael joked. Justin laughed and Michael squeezed his arm under the table, silently offering comfort. He was the only one that had any idea of Justin’s feelings. Justin shot him a look of thanks and buried his red face in a menu he had memorized years ago.

“Kiki!” Brian called. “I’m getting our drinks!” The waiter/waitress nodded and Brian hopped over the counter and started pouring drinks. Everyone at the diner learned long ago that even though none of the infamous high school gang worked at the diner, it was best just to let them serve themselves.

“Justin, you want the usual?” Brian asked from over the counter. Justin looked over at him and pursed his lips together.

“No, tonight I want a vanilla milkshake blend-“

“-blended with a banana and some caramel with whipped cream-“

“-and a cherry on top.”

“Coming right up.”

“Thanks, _muffin_ ,” Justin called his a sarcastic falsetto voice. Brian smirked and grabbed a banana as Justin looked back down at the menu. The other four boys looked at each other and shook their heads.

They were hopeless.

**

The six high school boys walked past the long line outside of Babylon. Brian and Justin strolled right up to Johnny, the bouncer and grinned up at him.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite dynamic duo,” Johnny greeted them, already placing his hand on the velvet rope.

“Is there room in that little ol’ club for two beautiful underage kings and their consort?” Brian asked, batting his eyelashes.

“You are so full of shit Brian,” Johnny laughed, shaking his head. He pulled the rope back nonetheless, and the boys ran in, ignoring the outraged cries emanating from the line behind them.

**

“Babylon is hot tonight,” Brian observed. “We should come here more often.”

“You look hot tonight,” Justin told him, the words slipping out before he could stop them. He looked over at Brian with wide eyes, and the taller boy gave him an expression he couldn’t read.

“C’mon Justin. Let’s dance.” Brian slinked his arms around Justin’s waist and they moved together in perfect rhythm. 

Justin’s senses were on overload. He was sad/happy/excited as he wrapped his arms around Brian’s shoulders. He bit his bottom lip against the swell of emotions but when he felt Brian’s hand slide under his shirt and rest on the smooth bare expanse of his lower back, everything just melted away. 

They kissed on the dance floor, one of those rare, unplanned occurrences that they never spoke of.

**

“Are you staying here tonight?” Justin asked as they walked up the stairs to his bedroom, arms around each other. It was sometime right before the sun wakes up and takes over for the moon. Brian yawned against Justin’s temple and nodded. 

They stripped off all their clothes silently. They had seen each other naked so often that it didn’t matter anymore. They collapsed on Justin’s twin sized bed and Justin’s head automatically rested on Brian’s chest and his arm wrapped around Justin’s back, _as always._

“Night Justin,” Brian said sleepily, giving Justin’s upper body a squeeze. Justin listened to his breathing even out until he knew he was asleep. He looked up at Brian’s sleeping face, a perfect profile lit by moonlight. His forehead rested against the taller boy’s temple and he studied his closed eyes, long elegant eyelashes that rested on his, perfect cheekbones. Justin stared at his lips, inches apart from his but miles away.

He trailed his fingertip along his bottom lip and blinked in surprise when a tear rolled down from each eye. The image of Brian got blurry and he quickly wiped his cheeks before the salty drops rolled off of his cheeks and splashed against Brian’s bronzed skin. He forced himself to roll away from Brian and get out of bed. He wandered aimlessly around the room, anything to distance himself from the sleeping teen currently nestled in his blankets. Another set of tears made their way down his cheeks and he furiously wiped them away.

He didn’t want to feel this way. He hated feeling this way. He would do anything _not_ to feel this way.

Why? He wanted to know. Why weren’t they together? Why didn’t Brian love him back?

He went into his bathroom and stared at his face in the mirror, eyes red and swollen. A final set of tears rolled from his chin and landed in the sink, dying in the drain.

Justin finally gave up and went back to his bed. He stared at Brian’s form, dreading getting back under the covers with Brian’s smooth, heated skin. He sighed and laid on the edge of the bed. He faced away from Brian and stared at the moon until exhaustion took over and he fell asleep to the sound of his own breaking heart.

As always.


	2. Something More

Justin hadn’t seen Brian in three days.

The first day, he told Brian he was tired. On the second, he conveniently didn’t feel good. On the third, he “forgot” to turn on his cell phone. But here was the fourth night, and Brian was on his doorstep.

“Hey,” Justin told him.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were ignoring me,” Brian smirked. Justin laughed nervously and ushered him inside.

It was just better not to see Brian when his emotions were too strong. It was better to hide and try to make them dissolve.

“Your parents are on their date night, right?” Justin nodded the affirmative and collapsed onto the sofa, clad in a tee shirt and flannel pants. Brian looked over at his scruffy looking best friend and raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”

Justin looked up at Brian’s too beautiful face and forced himself to nod. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He could think of plenty of reasons.

“I don’t know. You just look…sad.” 

He was. 

“I’m not. I’m just tired.”

“I know what would wake you up,” Brian replied. He pulled his tee shirt over his head and Justin was blinded by the view. He thought Brian was going to try to fuck him. He shut his eyes against the thought. “Let’s go swimming.”

“Swimming?” He didn’t have time to give an answer before Brian grabbed his hands and led him out his own back door.

The water looked crystal clear, cold, foreboding.

“My swim trunks are dirty,” Justin argued weakly. Brian turned and unbuttoned his jeans. Justin wanted this and dreaded it at the same time.

“Who needs trunks?” With that, Brian was naked. Justin’s eyes automatically scanned over his hard body, eyes flickering with lust. This was how it always happened. Resist, pull away, get reeled in.

He was broken out of his trance by Brian jumping into the water. He shook his head and watched Brian’s golden body resurface, beads of water traveling down his skin. He pulled off his own clothes and climbed into the pool. He treaded water, toes scraping along the bottom as Brian swam laps. Justin shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Where’s Molly?” Brian asked absently as he swam up to Justin. The blond watched goose bumps form on Brian’s skin, his mocha nipples hardening due to the evening breeze against his wet skin.

“Emily’s for the night.” Brian nodded and swam around Justin, eyeing him. The blond dunked his head under the water to get used to the temperature. Brian swam in another circle and Justin gasped when Brian’s arm wrapped around his waist.

Deep breath. _One._ Breathe. _Two._ Sigh. _Three._

He closed his eyes, waiting to see what Brian’s next move would be. The boy was so unpredictable, hard to read. Justin was surprised to feel himself be pulled under the water.

He resurfaced and stared into Brian’s laughing face. “Asshole!” He shouted, but his spirits were lifted.

What do you do when the only person that can make you feel better is the person that hurt you in the first place?

They swam together after that, splashing, laughing. They dunked each other under the water, chased each other, and felt so happy. Justin was enjoying the company of his best friend until said best friend pushed him up against the side of the pool and started kissing his neck.

Justin balled his hands into fists, keeping his arms straight against his sides. He wanted to pull away, but instead he tilted his head to the side to allow Brian better access to his wet flesh. His eyes were shut tight, and he sighed.

He didn’t want to be a fuck buddy anymore, but he couldn’t stop. This was better than nothing. This way, as Brian licked and sucked at his skin, he got to fantasize about what _could_ be.

A fantasy was better than nothing at all, right?

Justin got bold. He ran his hands up Brian’s back and into his wet hair. He pulled his head back roughly and plunged his tongue into Brian’s open mouth. The taller boy tensed in surprise but quickly returned the heated kiss, pushing Justin against the side so hard that the pavement scratched his smooth skin. The blond wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed.

It was the longest kiss they had ever shared. Justin wouldn’t let it end. He couldn’t.

When air became a necessity, he breathed through his nose. He clawed at Brian’s back, clamoring for a fantasy he so desperately wanted to come true.

It was Brian that finally broke the kiss. He stared at his best friend with wild, confused eyes hazy with lust. Justin thought he was going to pull away, but was surprised when Brian smashed their lips back together and they stayed locked in a heated embrace.

The second kiss was broken with a surprised moan from Justin as Brian slid three fingers into the blond’s puckered hole. Justin threw his head back, resting it against the cold, wet cement as Brian leaned over and took a condom from his jeans. He brought his hand back into the pool and quickly rolled the latex onto his aching dick, placing it at Justin’s entrance.

Justin locked eyes with Brian, fierce blue against harsh hazel. Brian held the gaze and he slid into Justin in one smooth motion. Justin moaned again, not bothering to try to keep the sounds inside this time. They moved together fast and hard, water splashing around them. Justin held onto Brian tightly, digging his fingernails into his flesh. Brian slid in and out faster, never taking his eyes off of Justin’s.

Then Justin did what he swore he would never do.

“Brian!” He screamed out, moaning in ecstasy. “ _Brian. Brian_.” He chanted the taller boy’s name over and over, as if it were a mantra he used to make it through the day. Brian bit down on Justin’s chin and thrust harder, staring up into big blue eyes.

“Oh god, _Justin_.”

**

The music numbed Justin’s brain. He liked it that way.

The music hid the water in his eyes when he watched Brian dance with someone else, a random trick, a hot fuck, _not him._

The music pulsed inside of him. He felt it from the inside out. The music was a part of him. The music lived in him.

The music played on as Brian ran his lips along the jawbone of his trick, his prey, the catch of the day. Justin gulped, threw back a shot of tequila, ordered another, and stared on.

The music did so much. He wanted the music to make him blind.

He threw back another shot. Ordered another. Please make the music stop. Maybe they’ll stop dancing. He threw back yet another shot.

“Justin,” Michael’s voice was full of concern. “Are you okay?” He looked over at the brunet, a practiced look of nonchalance in place.

“Peachy.” He turned back to the train wreck in front of him in time to see Brian whisper the magic words into the ear of the fuck de jour. Brian grinned and dragged the trick through the chains and into the infamous back room. He closed his eyes, but it was too late. He had already seen it. He knocked back one last shot and turned towards his friends.

“I’m outta here.” He didn’t realize his words were slurred. He just wanted to get away from the music. Thumpa thumpa thumpa on his heart.

“What? How are you going to get home?” Emmett asked, placing his hand on Justin’s shoulder. He shrugged it away.

“Dunno.”

“What do we tell Brian?”

“Don’t give a shit.” Justin disappeared into the crowd, leaving the four boys to stare at each other in confusion. The blond stepped outside into the cold air and gasped against the sensation. The music was quieter here. Didn’t matter. It had already done its damage. “Hello Johnny,” he said to the bouncer. “Thank you for the _marvelous_ evening.” Justin stumbled off of the steps and barely caught his balance before falling against the pavement.

“Whoa, Justin.” Johnny put his hand on the teen’s shoulder and he once again pulled away. “Let me call you a cab.”

“No, I think I’ll walk. It’s a pretty night.” He paused and looked up at the stars. “The music won’t stop, Johnny.” The bouncer shook his head and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

“You’re completely trashed. You’re staying here until I put you in a cab.” He dialed a number and ordered the cab while ushering more boys into the club. The line slowed down and he sat down on the step next to the shaking blond boy. “What’s wrong?”

“He doesn’t…” He trailed off, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“He doesn’t what?” 

“He doesn’t love me.” Justin looked back down at the shadowy pavement and closed his eyes. Johnny shook his head, knowing exactly who _he_ was. He saw it in those blue eyes every time they came to the club. Johnny sighed, rubbing Justin’s back as he shook. 

Once the cab arrived, he helped Justin in and paid the driver. Justin said goodbye and Johnny saw gratitude swimming in pools of sadness. His heart broke for the kid. He took his place back in front of the doors of the kingdom where so many hearts were broken. And the thumpa thumpa goes on.

**

_They will see us waving from such great heights_  
'Come down now,' they'll say  
But everything looks perfect from far away,  
'Come down now,' but we'll stay... 

Justin opened his eyes, staring into the shadows of his bedroom. No more music. He couldn’t handle it. His eyes landed on his cell phone, blinking blue and vibrating near his pillow.

That was Brian’s ring tone. 

He reached over and flipped open the phone with his thumb and brought it to his ear. “Hullo?” He answered sleepily.

_”Hey,”_ Brian responded, alert and muffled. _”Why’d you leave?”_

“I wanted to.”

_”How did you get home?”_

“Johnny put me in a cab.”

_”I would have taken you home.”_

“I didn’t feel like waiting for you to pull your dick out of that guy’s ass.” His tone was harsher than he intended, but he didn’t care. There was silence on the other end and he closed his eyes against it. Say _something_.

_”Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting weird lately.”_

He was so blind.

Justin sighed, but said nothing. No, he wasn’t okay. Could Brian make it better? Probably. Would he? Probably not.

_”Justin?”_

“I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

_”Um, ok. Bye.”_ Justin shut the phone and shut his eyes. He let the alcohol lull him back into a deep sleep. He just hoped he didn’t dream. 

Dreaming got him nowhere.


	3. Something More

**AN:** _Thanks to Kami and Nisey. I love you guys. I AM A ROCK. *sniff*_

* * *

“Do you remember when we were little and nothing mattered except for staying awake past bedtime and having one more hour to play with your toys?” Justin asked, twirling a Ticonderoga #2 in his right hand. He knew if he touched it to the paper, he would draw Brian. So, he just kept…twirling.

“I happen to recall such a time,” Daphne replied, absently flipping through a magazine. They sat on opposite sides of the kitchen table in Daphne’s dining room. Justin took a sip from his water bottle and sighed.

“Everything was so much better then. We didn’t have crushes…or heartache. There was no such thing as _lust_ ,” Justin observed, his eyes trained on the end of his pencil.

“Brian?” Justin looked up, eyes widening for a split second. He only sighed and nodded.

“Lust screwed everything up. Well, I suppose that isn’t true. If lust were the only problem, this arrangement would be perfect,” Justin said ironically. Daphne looked up at him, the perfume ad lying abandoned on the dark cherry wood. “Why? Why did I have to go and… _feel_ something. Why did I have to fall in love with him?”

“Oh Justin,” she sighed, getting up and moving around the table to sit next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. “I told you when you two started this little arrangement that it was a bad idea. I knew you would end up getting hurt.” 

“I didn’t ask for I told you so,” Justin replied, rolling his eyes. Daphne narrowed her eyes at him and wrapped her arms around him, shaking him.

“Well, I told you so is what you’re going to get every time you fuck up until you learn that I am always right!” She kissed his cheek sloppily and giggled. He smiled and stared down at the blank white page in front of him.

“I guess.”

“Oh Justin, what are we going to do with you?” He looked up at her, blond hair hanging in sad bluegrey eyes.

“I don’t know. Shoot me?”

“Stop being dramatic.” She cuffed him on the back of the head lovingly and he smiled. She hugged him tightly then, and he melted into the embrace.

**

_They will see us waving from such great heights_  
'Come down now,' they'll say   
But everything looks perfect from far away,   
'Come down now,' but we'll stay... 

Brian’s Cell: Answer or Ignore?

Justin pressed ignore and wished life was so simple.

He stayed in bed, watching as the sunset cast shadows on his ceiling. He loved the shadows. When the moon was fully raised and the shadows stopped dancing, he rolled to the side and sighed.

_They will see us waving from such great heights_  
'Come down now,' they'll say   
But everything looks perfect from far away,   
'Come down now,' but we'll stay... 

Ignore.

He sat up, bed head in full stage alert. He yawned and stretched. It was time to get out of bed. It was dark now, after all. He thought a shower would make him feel better, but the water just made him remember.

_”Brian. Brian.”_

_“Oh god. Justin.”_

He soaped up as fast as he could and got out, steam clinging to his body. He shaved, brushed his teeth, and realized he was ready for bed again. He didn’t have any energy anymore.

The last thing he expected to see when he opened his bedroom door was Brian stretched out on his bed.

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked, reaching down to hold the white towel securely around his waist. Brian looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. 

“Wondering why you’ve been ignoring my calls,” he answered flatly. Justin noticed his cell phone in Brian’s hand and swallowed hard. He went over to his dresser and dug out a pair of flannel pants and a tee shirt. He got dressed, not letting Brian see him naked.

“I haven’t been feeling well lately,” Justin told him. It was partially true. “I’ve just been sleeping.” Brian nodded and Justin stood at the end of the bed, tugging on the hem of his tee shirt. The taller boy scooted over on the bed and patted the empty space next to him. Justin closed his eyes.

_One._ Breathe. _Two._ Sigh. _Three._

Justin opened his eyes and slowly climbed into the empty space, tensing as Brian covered both of their bodies with a blanket. He felt Brian’s nose brush against his temple, lips near his ear.

“How don’t you feel good?” Brian asked, fingers curling into Justin’s wet hair. The smaller boy shut his eyes, searching for an answer that wasn’t true.

“My stomach hurts.” He didn’t like lying to his best friend.

But it wasn’t like he could tell him the truth, was it?

His breath caught in his throat when Brian’s hand slipped under his tee shirt. His long fingers rubbed soothing circles on his skin. He kissed Justin’s cheek, letting his lips linger near his face.

“Then we’ll just sleep. I want you to feel better.” Brian curled up to Justin then, and the blond furrowed his brows in confusion. Brian’s hand continued to travel along Justin’s stomach, up his chest and back down to his hips, just gently traveling along smooth skin.

Justin felt himself grow sleepy from his ministrations and yawned. Was this the action of a doting best friend? Or was it something… _more?_

Don’t fall asleep to dream.

**

The problem with winter break was it’s vast…nothingness. 

There is no school, no homework, no _anything_ to use to take your mind off of your problems. As Justin lay in his empty bed, watching shadows pass across the ceiling again, he would have paid to have some algebra homework.

Thinking about numbers didn’t make his heart hurt.

_I think I’ll try defying gravity_  
Kiss me goodbye  
I’m defying gravity  
And you can’t pull me down 

Justin looked over at his phone on the nightstand. That was his default ring tone. Not Brian.

Daphne’s Cell: Answer or Ignore?

“Hey Daph.”

_”Hey.”_

“What’s up?” Justin asked, snuggling deeper into his blanket cocoon. He yawned, even though he had slept all day.

_”The topic of the hour. Brian. He called me and asked me if I knew what was wrong with you.”_ Justin sat straight up in bed and blinked.

“What did you tell him?” He asked, worry seeping from every pore. He ran his fingers through his hair and bit down on the tip of his thumb.

_”Nothing. I said you seemed fine. He didn’t seem to believe me.”_

“Shit. I don’t know what to do Daphne.”

_”I’ll be there in five.”_

**

“I just wish I knew what was wrong,” Brian sighed, staring down into a cup of coffee. Emmett sat across from him, chin resting on clasped hands. The diner was damn near dead. So slow that Kiki even got their drinks for them just so she would have something to do.

“How do you know anything is wrong at all?” Emmett asked. He treaded lightly. It wasn’t often that his friend spoke freely of his emotions like this. He didn’t want to scare the rare event away with lack of tact.

“I just _know_. He’s not my Justin.” Emmett had to suppress a grin when he caught Brian’s little slip. He would get them together, some way.

“How?” Emmett asked, stirring his iced tea slowly.

“He just seems so sad lately. His eyes have been grayish blue for like two weeks.” Emmett raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Aren’t Justin’s eyes always blue?”

“Well yeah,” Brian clarified. “But when something is bothering him they look gray. When he has been crying they are the color of the sky. When he is happy, they have a tinge of green. When he’s turned on they look indigo.”

“Wait a minute,” Emmett interrupted. “How do you know what his eyes look like when he’s turned on?” Brian shrugged one shoulder and took a long gulp of his coffee. “Has something ever happened with you two?”

Brian gave Justin a hickey on his neck once. Once. Everyone noticed it. Emmett, Daphne, Michael, Debbie, Jennifer, the Channel 3 News, et cetera. Justin told everyone it was from a boy at Babylon. Everyone believed him.

“Yeah, me and Justin fuck all the time,” Brian said, rolling his eyes. Emmett leaned forward.

“You guys always _say_ that. You always joke about it. So all this time we should have been taking you seriously?” Brian sent him a murderous look and Emmett merely smirked. “Tell me.”

Brian had always joked about it, but he had never actually _told_ anyone about it before. How could he describe the way Justin looked all sweaty and wanton in the moonlight? Would he describe how silvery his hair looked? Or how tight and hot he was? No, those were all his little secrets.

Justin was his little secret.

“You might as well tell me, because the look on your face already gave it away,” Emmett informed him. Brian sighed and nodded. Emmett’s face lit up and he bounced in his seat. “When?”

“It started sophomore year. We-“

“ _Sophomore_ year? This is an ongoing thing? Oh god. Okay, tell me everything. How did it start? When? Where?”

“Jesus Christ Emmett,” Brian exclaimed, looking around the diner. “Calm the fuck down and I’ll tell you.” Emmett immediately sobered up, leaning forward in the booth. Brian closed his eyes and sighed. 

_”What are you doing?” Justin asked, eyes wide and surprised. Brian ran his tongue from the blond’s collarbone to his ear._

_“Kissing you,” he whispered._

_“Why?”_

_“Because I want to.” And when Justin kissed him back, the world stopped spinning._

“So, sophomore year. We were hanging out in Justin’s room. It was raining outside. Rain always does something to me.” Emmett smiled and Brian took another sip of coffee. “Anyway, we were bored. I was particularly horny, and Justin was looking particularly beautiful. So…I kissed him.”

“Ah,” Emmett commented, grinning ear to ear. Brian continued looking at the table, clearing his throat every so often. “Why didn’t you guys just go out? Did you not like him in that way?”

“No, it’s not that I didn’t feel for him in that way. Well, it’s not that I did and not that I didn’t. It’s just something that happened.” Brian realized how feeble this sounded, even to his own ears. “Neither of us pursued anything more than what it was. We’d kiss. We’d fool around. I took his virginity.” That last part was just a little muffled, as he mumbled it under his breath. Emmett choked on his tea.

“You _what?_ When?”

“Junior year. After we hit Babylon for the first time. He said he wanted to lose his virginity, so…we had sex.”

_”Will it hurt?”_

_“A little. But it’s okay. I got you.” He pushed in and watched Justin’s lip turn purple as he bit down on it so hard._

“No wonder,” Emmett whispered. He shook his head and took another sip of tea.

“What?”

“Nothing. Go on.”

“Well,” Brian started, scratching his head. “There isn’t much to tell. It just went on like that. We give each other release. We have fun.”

“Maybe Justin is sick of having fun.” Brian’s eyes went wide as he finally looked up at Emmett.

“What do you mean?” Brian asked.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to just have fun anymore. Maybe he wants to be loved.”

**

“I think you should tell him,” Daphne said matter-of-factly. Justin looked at her like she had just grown a third, maybe even a fourth tit.

“Are you crazy?” He asked, looking at her with wild eyes. She always admired his eyes, how you could tell his mood just by the color. “I can’t _tell_ him.”

“Why not?” Daphne asked.

“What if he’s horrified? What if he doesn’t feel the same way, which he doesn’t, and our friendship is ruined? I can’t lose Brian.”

“What if you tell him, and he feels the same way?”

“He doesn’t,” Justin said sadly, looking down at the pillow he was clutching.

“How do you know?” Daphne pushed. Justin looked up, tears brimming his eyes.

“I just know!” He shouted, the tears spilling over. “I can see it in his eyes. I can feel it in his touch. He just doesn’t. And fuck Daphne, you have _no_ idea how badly that hurts.”

“Justin,” she whispered, feeling the back of her eyes tingle to warn her that tears were fast approaching. 

“No. Every time he fucks me I think ‘Maybe this time it’ll mean something else. Maybe this time he’ll fall in love with me.’ But he never does. When he fucks me without so much as a peck on the lips…my heart breaks in two. Getting fucked without a kiss is the absolute worst feeling I’ve ever experienced.”

“Then why don’t you stop?” Daphne asked, her voice shaking as she wiped her cheeks and then Justin’s. 

“That’s just it. I can’t stop. It’s like a drug. There is still that _hope_ that maybe one of these days something will click in his thick beautiful head and he’ll want to be with me. I mean, really _be_ with me.” Justin wiped his eyes and sniffled.

“Justin, Brian is a party boy. Always has been. His life is moving too fast for him to realize what he has right in front of him. So you need to tell him what he’s missing.”

“I’m not telling him. Drop it.” Daphne sighed and nodded. Justin lay down and she soothingly played with his hair.

She would stop talking about it for now, but this subject was far from over.

**

_Get around town, spend your time on the run_  
You never let down...say you do it for fun  
Never miss a play, though you make quite a few  
You give it all away when…everybody wants you 

Brian’s eyes opened and he scanned the room for his cell phone. He got out of bed and answered it without looking at the display.

“Yeah?”

_”Hey Brian. It’s Daphne. Did I wake you?”_

“Yeah, actually. I’m feeling a little drain-“

_”Aw. That’s too bad. We need to talk.”_

“When?”

_”Now._

“What? Where are you?”

_”Your front door.”_


	4. Something More

**AN:** _Ok, wow. *wipes tears* This chapter sucks. Don't read it. Okay, I'm kidding. Please read it. Please love it. Please review it. I just sort of cried like a little baby while writing it. But they were very therapeutic tears! Okay, enough of my rambling. Thanks so much for the reviews everyone. Keep them coming. I AM A ROCK!_

* * *

“Get in the car,” Daphne told Brian as she slid into the driver’s seat. Brian blinked and shook his head in confusion.

“Daph, it’s like one in the morning.” 

“So? Get in!” Brian rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and got into the passenger side of Daphne’s car. The three of them had grown up together, practically inseparable. Then Brian tuned into the club scene and dragged Justin with him. The two boys realized who they were and joined a world no girl could ever really be a part off.

Daphne looked over at Brian and sighed. He wasn’t the same kid that she used to play tag with. People change. Lives change. Brian and Daphne went two separate ways and Justin was left dangling somewhere in the middle.

“Where are we going?” Brian asked, still confused as to why Daphne dragged him out of bed with no explanation at one in the morning when they hadn’t hung out in over three weeks.

“Here,” Daphne replied as she pulled over in front of the park they played at when they were kids. Daphne killed the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition, stuffing them into her pocket. Brian caught a glimpse of a photo key chain of them at an amusement park taken on a junior high field trip. He looked at his young, smiling face and wondered where all the time had gone.

He wondered when life stopped being so simple.

He got out of the car and followed her, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. She sat down on a swing and he did the same. They sat in silence, kicking at the dirt and watching the wind blow it away.

“Why don’t you kiss him when you fuck him, at least?” Daphne’s voice was barely above a whisper. Brian wanted to think he had heard her wrong, but he knew he hadn’t.

“What?” Brian asked, his heart racing faster. He gripped the chains of the swing and turned to look at her.

“I want to know how you can have sex with Justin without kissing him, like he is no more than a whore.” Brian felt like he had been slapped in the face.

“Justin is not a whore!”

“Then why do you treat him like one?” Brian didn’t know what to say to that. He felt physically ill.

“I don’t kiss tricks.” Her eyes widened, and Brian raised a hand to stop her outburst. “I’m not saying Justin is a trick. Justin is…I don’t know what he is. But when him and me fuck, and I would like to know how long you’ve known, by the way. Anyway, when we fuck, it was always about the pleasure. We aren’t boyfriends, we aren’t lovers. We’re best friends that fuck occasionally. I never realized how big of a deal that was until now.”

“Damn right it’s big deal.” Brian nodded, feeling like a scolded child. “And I’ve known since the beginning. Justin is my best friend, even if I’m not his. And I knew, I fucking _knew_ he would get hurt. That you would hurt him. You are such an _asshole_ Brian Kinney!” 

“Daphne,” Brian muttered, feeling hurt. But he knew what she said was partially true. He has used Justin without knowing it. He had hurt Justin without knowing it. And he had a pretty good idea where this was leading.

“He’s fucking in love with you, you know.” Brian took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Fuck.

“Really?” After his discussion with Emmett, he suspected he was the cause of Justin’s current state of depression. But… _love_?

“Yes _really_. Are you so fucking blind that you couldn’t see that?” She asked, venom in her voice. She wasn’t really _mad_ at Brian, just frustrated as all hell.

“I guess it wasn’t so much that I _couldn’t_ see it. I just wasn’t looking for it. And now that I have it, I don’t know what to do with it.” He and Daphne locked eyes and she noticed the desperation in them. He was lost, confused.

“Do you feel that way about him at all?” She asked, having a bad feeling about the answer. 

“I…” he paused, digging his palms into his eye sockets and growling in frustration. “Fuck! I don’t know. Justin…is Justin. He’s my best friend. He’s always been my best friend. Why does anything have to change?” He pulled his hands away and looked over at Daphne. She smirked and dug her toe into the dirt, shrugging.

“The point is, things _have_ changed. Justin is in love with you. He is hurt. He is depressed. He is confused as all get out. I told him to tell you, but he is so fucking _scared_ that he’ll lose you, that he’s willing to go on getting fucked just so he won’t lose his best friend!”

Brian shut his eyes hard, feeling tears building up. He had no fucking clue what he was feeling. He hated that most of all.

“I’m telling you this because I trust you’ll make the right decision. You have the chance to have something really amazing here. You and Justin were _made_ for each other. I’ll lose all faith in love if you two don’t end up together.”

“Daph…”

“No, I know you feel something for him. You love him. You just haven’t realized it.” She saw the tears in his eyes, and just knew she was right. “I don’t have to tell you how amazing Justin is. You’ve had seventeen years to figure that out.”

Brian nodded and stood up. Daphne stood as well and immediately wrapped her arms around his torso. He tensed for a moment, looking down at her curly hair. Soon he found himself returning her embrace.

Damn Daphne, always being the sensible one.

**

_Keep quiet_  
Nothing comes as easy as you.  
Can I lay in your bed all day?  
I'll be your best kept secret   
And your biggest mistake 

Brian heard his cell phone ring, and in his drunken state was genuinely confused to hear a Top 40 band coming from his pocket. When he realized it was his cell phone, ringing with Justin’s ring tone, he set his bottle of Beam down by the swing and extracted it from his jeans. He had swiped the bottle from his dad’s liquor cabinet and took it back to the park. He had been drinking himself silly for the last three hours.

“Hello?”

_”What the fuck Brian?”_

“What? You called me!” 

_”Yeah because you left me four voicemails, the last one at 3:47 AM, and I couldn’t understand a fucking word you were saying.”_

“Jus-“

_”So what the hell? I’m tired, and you sound drunk as fuck.”_

“Justin! Can I come over please?” 

_”What? Are you okay?”_

“Justin! Just answer me. Can I come over? I want to talk to you.”

_”About what?”_

“God dammit Justin. Just say I can come over!”

_“Fine. Come over.”_

“Thank you. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

**

Brian knocked on Justin’s window, startling the worried blond boy. Justin got up and lifted the window, helping a very intoxicated Brian into his bedroom.

“Fuck that trellis is tall,” Brian slurred. Justin raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve been climbing it since we were six.” Brian’s eyes widened and he turned, looking back out the window.

“I was a brave little fucker,” the brunet muttered.

“Uh…huh…” Justin commented, taking in his appearance. He hadn’t seen his friend so drunk in, well, ever. “Is there a particular reason for this drunken visit?”

“Yeah.” Brian leaned forward and pressed his lips against Justin’s. The blond immediately pushed him away and wiped his mouth.

“If you came over and woke me up at four in the morning because you wanted to fuck I’m going to be incredibly pissed off.”

“No!” Brian protested, shaking his head vigorously. He brought his hands up to his temples, immediately regretting the action. He looked up into Justin’s gray blue eyes. “Remember when we were twelve?”

“Brian, that’s _slightly_ vague. Could you narrow that search term down for me a little bit?” Justin asked sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest. Brian closed his eyes.

_”I’m gay,” Brian announced over their sixth grade science homework. Justin dropped his pencil and looked up and his best friend._

_“Come again?” Justin asked._

_“I’m…gay,” Brian said very slowly and sarcastically. Justin gave him the finger._

_“I heard you, dipshit. You just surprised me, is all.”_

_“Ah. Did you get the answer for number seven?” Justin looked at him blankly._

_“Don’t you want to talk about it?”_

_“What’s there to talk about?”_

_“Nothing, I guess. It’s just…” Justin smoothed his hand through his hair. “I think I’m gay too.” Brian looked up and smiled._

_“No shit? What do you mean you think? You either are or you aren’t.”_

_“I don’t know. I think I am, but-“ Brian silenced him with a kiss. He grabbed the back of Justin’s head and slipped his tongue into his mouth briefly. He kissed him until Justin responded and started kissing him back. Then Brian pulled away and smirked._

_“You’re queer as a three dollar bill,” Brian said matter-of-factly. Justin caught his breath and nodded._

_“Well, I’m glad that’s settled.”_

_“Me too. Now seriously, did you get the answer for number seven?”_

Brian put his hands on Justin’s shoulders and pressed his forehead against the shorter boy’s, looking into his eyes.

“We were twelve. And I told you I was gay. And you said you thought you were too?” Justin nodded slowly. “And then I kissed you. My first kiss and your first kiss.”

“Yeah…” Justin replied, biting his bottom lip. “And?”

“I don’t fucking know. I just keep seeing that scene play itself over and over in my head and I can’t stop it.” Brian let go of Justin and started wandering around the room.

“I’m…sorry?” Justin was thoroughly confused. He followed Brian with his eyes, rooted to the floor near the window.

“I don’t know what Daphne thought was going to happen,” Brian muttered. Justin felt his stomach drop. Did she?

“What do you mean?” Justin asked softly.

“When did it start?” Brian asked, whirling to face his best friend. “That first kiss? Please don’t tell me it was that first kiss.”

“Fuck. I can’t believe she fucking told you. Shit.” Justin slid his fingers into his hair and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“When did it start? The second kiss? The first time we fucked? When?” Brian crossed the room and grabbed Justin’s biceps. The blond sighed and looked up, heartbreak in his eyes.

“You wanna know? I can tell you the exact fucking _second_ it happened!” Justin said harshly, glad his parents slept on the other side of the house.

“Tell me!”

“Junior year. Okay? It was the third time we had sex, and you looked down at me with those beautiful fucking eyes of yours and kissed me. You kissed me like you fucking _meant_ it.”

“Since then?” Brian asked, releasing Justin’s arms.

“Yes. It wasn’t so bad then. It was just something that was _there_ in the back of my head. I didn’t think about it that much, and it sort of went away. But then it came back, not subtly either. It hit me hard enough to knock the wind out of me. Do you want to know the exact moment I fell in _love_ with you?”

“Fuck!” Brian brought his hands up to his face and back down again. “Yes.”

“Three months ago,” Justin told him, looking right into his eyes. “When you let me top you for the first time because I told you I wanted to know what it felt like.” Brian backed away, shaking his head. Justin stepped forward, bravely going on. “I slipped into you, and you looked so fucking _vulnerable_ and you grabbed my hand and slipped your fingers into mine and squeezed so tight. That’s when I _knew_ I was a fucking goner. Right then.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Brian asked weakly. Justin rolled his eyes.

“Because I knew you would react like this. You wouldn’t feel the same, and I’d lose my best friend. I didn’t want that to happen.” He was crying now, silvery tears flowing freely down his red cheeks. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You haven’t lost me,” Brian whispered, wiping away his own tears. He wrapped his arms around Justin and kissed his forehead. Justin held on and cried into his shoulder.

“But you don’t feel the same way,” Justin whispered. Brian closed his eyes and sighed.

“I don’t know how I feel Justin. Can you just accept that for now?” He felt Justin nod against his shoulder and he squeezed tighter.

Brian really wished he could talk all this out with someone. But the only person he really trusted was the person currently soaking his shirt with tears. 

Justin wanted his best friend to comfort him. But at that moment, Brian wasn’t his best friend. He was his unrequited love. He was his hopes and desires and dreams and fears all rolled into one person. One person so fucking perfect and perfectly fucked up and beautiful he thought he was going to explode.

One thing was for certain. Nothing would ever be the same.


	5. Something More

**Author's Note:** _Okay, **wow**! I'm Fic of the Month?! Thank you so much! I can't even begin to describe how honored I am. I mean, I'm just a eighteen year old girl trying to fit in amongst so many amazing writers. It's astounding. I could scarcely believe it. So, thank you all so much. Thanks for nominating me and reviewing, and just...everything! I hope you continue to enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it!_

* * *

_People_  
People who need people  
Are the luckiest people in the world 

Brian groaned and fumbled around for his cell phone, finally finding it under his pillow. He stared at the display and sighed before answering it.

“Yes Emmett?”

_“Unlock your fucking bedroom door.”_ Brian rolled his eyes and got out of bed, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He held the cell phone to his ear as he unlocked and opened his bedroom door, finding a very perturbed looking Emmett on the other side. They both hung up their cell phones.

“Can I help you? How did you get up here anyway? And why didn’t you just fucking knock?” Brian asked, turning back towards his bed. Emmett stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. He turned and followed Brian over to his bed.

“Your mom let me up. And I _did_ knock. You didn’t answer.” Brian shrugged and fell back on his bed. 

“Guess I didn’t hear you.”

“You have _People_ as my ring tone? You _hate_ that fucking song.”

“Yeah, but it reminds me of you,” Brian replied. Emmett smiled. “And how fucking annoying you can be.” Emmett rolled his eyes and slapped Brian’s thigh.

“Asshole.”

“Bitch.”

“So,” Emmett started, remembering why he went there in the first place. “I just had lunch with Daphne.” Brian winced and sighed.

“Great.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Brian raised an eyebrow and Emmett took in his appearance. His eyes were red and slightly swollen and he looked like he hadn’t shaved or showered in three days. He looked awful. Or, as awful as Brian Kinney could look, anyway.

“Nothing,” Brian responded quickly. Emmett sighed and sat down on the end of the bed.

“Right. I already know. The situation with Justin blew up in your pretty little face.”

“Em. Please…fuck off.” Emmett wasn’t expecting to see tears in his eyes. He swallowed hard and scooted closer to Brian. 

“Want to talk about it?” Emmett asked, putting his hand on Brian’s arm. He noticed the earphone in his left ear and plucked it out. “What are you listening to?” Brian shut his eyes and gulped as Emmett brought the small earphone to his ear.

_Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better  
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together_

_Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future  
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures_

“The Postal Service?” Emmett asked incredulously. “Not the best music to listen to when you’re depressed.” He pulled Brian’s small silver iPod out from under his pillow and shut it off. “Talk.”

“I don’t want to fucking talk, Emmett.” Brian said softly, staring at the ceiling.

“So,” Emmett replied, unfazed. “Talk anyway.” Brian sighed deeply and pulled a pack of cigarettes from the bedside table drawer. He lit one and took a long drag, watching the smoke curl up towards the ceiling.

“Daphne told me Justin is in love with me,” Brian blurted out. Emmett’s expression didn’t change. Brian raised his eyebrows. “Well?”

“Well what? That’s no big surprise. We could all see it in the way he looks at you. We could tell by the look on his face every time you ventured to the backroom. We all _knew_. We just didn’t know the extent of it. We didn’t know you were feeding him such false hopes.”

“I wasn’t giving him false hopes!” Brian nearly shouted, smoke spewing from his lips. “I didn’t _know_ he felt that way. If you guys knew so much, why didn’t anyone fucking _tell_ me?”

“It wasn’t our place to tell you. It was something Justin had to do. Granted, I’m happy Daphne finally did because I was sick of seeing Justin mope around like he was.”

“Why didn’t _I_ see it?” Brian asked, more to himself than Emmett. The flamboyant teen sighed and shook his head. He hated seeing his two best friends so conflicted, confused, and… _sad._

“You weren’t looking for it, honey. You aren’t a big fan of change. Justin has always been Justin to you, and you never opened up the possibility that Justin could be something else, something _more_ than a friend. Justin could be the love of your life or he could turn into a complete stranger.” Brian sighed and Emmett smiled slightly. “The question you need to ask your self is…”

“Do I feel lucky?” Brian smirked, trying to lighten the mood. Emmett put his forefinger against Brian’s temple like he was aiming a gun and shut one eye. He bent his thumb and made a cracking sound before tucking Brian’s hair behind his ear.

“That, and…how do you feel about Justin?”

“That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Well, I must say Regis, I don’t fucking know. And yes, that is my final answer.”

“I’m going to pretend you did _not_ just compare me to Regis Philbin.”

“Yeah, that would probably be better for both of us.” Brian sighed again. Emmett had never seen him so conflicted. Brian was always so calm and collected. Yet here he was…broken.

“Well, Brian, you need to think about it. Can you see yourself with Justin? Loving Justin?” Emmett asked, studying Brian’s eyes for the answer he knew his lips most likely wouldn’t give.

“I never pictured myself loving anyone,” Brian replied, shaking the hair from his eyes.

“I sense a but. Please let there be a but!” Emmett exclaimed. “And don’t even make the completely obvious joke about that.”

“But,” Brian replied, chuckling a little. “Justin makes me happy. I love Justin as my best friend already. If I ever saw myself being _in_ love with anyone, it would be Justin.” He saw Emmett’s grin and quickly continued. “But I just don’t know.”

“Gah! You are so frustrating! What’s there to know? You and Justin are fucking _perfect_ for each other!” Emmett crossed his arms. “He’s miserable, you know.” Brian’s head perked up.

“I don’t want him to be sad.”

“Then get over yourself and admit you love him. I know you do. I saw it in your eyes too.” Brian narrowed his eyes at Emmett, and then his expression softened. He knew deep down that Emmett was right.

“Fine!” Brian shouted in frustration.

_Am I more than you bargained for yet?_  
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear  
Cause that's just who I am this week 

_And Sugar, we're going down swinging_  
I'll be your number one with a bullet  
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it 

Brian looked over at his cell phone, lighting up and vibrating on his nightstand. “That’s Justin,” he whispered. He looked at Emmett with fear in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“He wouldn’t call unless he had something important to say. He’s scared to death of you right now. Answer it.” Brian picked up the phone as if it physically pained him to do so. He pressed talk and brought it to his ear.

“Hey Justin.”

_”Hi Brian.”_ The brunet visibly relaxed at the sound of the other teen’s voice.

“What’s up?”

_”Um, nothing. Okay something. I wanted to talk to you about the other night.”_ Brian sighed and Emmett was practically pressed against him, eavesdropping.

“Yeah?”

_”Well,”_ Justin began uneasily. _”Can we just pretend it never happened? I mean, I’ll get over it. It’ll be fine.”_

“Justin…”

_”No really, it’ll be okay. I just want to be friends. So, can we just forget it happened?”_

“But Justin-“

_”Please?”_ Brian bit his bottom lip and looked over at Emmett, who thrust his finger towards the phone and mouthed ‘tell him’. Brian shook his head.

“Sure.”

_”Okay, thanks. Bye.”_

“Bye…” Brian whispered, long after the dial tone began to sound in his ear.

“What the fuck Brian?” Emmett asked, pushing him to the side.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” He noticed how defeated Brian looked and felt his heart clench.

“Maybe it’s better this way,” he whispered, looking down at his cell phone. “I can’t hurt him if I’m not with him.”

**

Justin dropped his cell phone on the bed and turned towards Daphne with tears in his eyes. A choked sob escaped his lips and Daphne flung her arms around him, holding him tight.

“Why did you do that?” She whispered. Justin took a deep breath and rested his head on her shoulder, not ready to leave her comforting embrace.

“I wanted to give him an easy out. I want to fix it before it hurt even more.” She sighed and kissed his temple. She closed her eyes and shook her head, astonished by the stubbornness of these boys.

They were so obviously in love, and so completely… _stupid_.


	6. Something More

**AN:** _Sorry about the long wait. Life has a certain way of sneaking up on you. Now, let the reviewing commence! ;)_

* * *

Justin kept his eyes on the cracks in the sidewalk as he walked along, collar upturned to protect his fair skin from the harsh cold of a Pittsburgh winter. He wanted to know if anyone saw the pavement crack. He wondered when it happened, if anyone saw. 

Who could see something that snuck up on them like that?

The sidewalk broke, crack by crack, bit by bit, until it rose and caught the toe of your sneaker, making you fall flat on your face.

That was what had happened with Brian. Love snuck up on him like a bit of raised pavement and sent him crashing to the ground.

When he saw a set of handprints imprinted in the cement, he stopped walking. He had reached his destination.

_”What are you doing, mister?” Brian asked, hands resting dramatically on tiny hips. Justin looked on, wiping his mop of hair from blue eyes._

_Brian, at six years old, was a force to be reckoned with. He popped his gum and raised an eyebrow at the man crouched at the end of his driveway. Justin joined his best friend, double the trouble._

_“I’m putting in a new section of sidewalk, all up and down the street.” Brian looked the man up and down, noting his bright orange vest and dirty jeans. The small boy smoothed his white tee shirt over his tiny belly. He wrinkled his nose, and Justin noticed a sprinkling of barely there freckles dotting his friend’s sun kissed nose. Blue eyes squinted against harsh summer sun and looked back at the man in front of him._

_“You boys want to put your handprints here?” The man asked, gesturing to a square of wet cement with the tip of his trowel. The small boys looked at each other and then nodded vigorously. They dropped to their knees in the grass and the man helped them place their small hands in the cement, side by side. They wiped their hands off on the grass and surveyed their work._

_“Now, when we’re big and grown up, we’ll look at these and always be able to remember this summer, and our friendship.” Justin smiled, revealing the gap in his teeth. The dollar from the Tooth Fairy was weighing his pocket down. The boys threw their arms around each other, laughter rising up to mingle with the sunshine._

Justin crouched down and placed his hand over the mold of his own, feeling neither big nor grown up. The handprints were unscathed, the cracks not coming near the moment in time. 

That alone gave Justin hope. Hope in such a dismal world is not easily obtained. Cling to it, hold it close.

Never give up.

Justin sighed and closed his eyes. He saw Brian at the age of six behind his eyelids, and wondered how old he was when that light sprinkling of freckles faded into flawless skin.

He turned up the walkway, slowly carrying himself to Brian’s front door. He had no clue what he was going to say, or what he was going to do.

It was never supposed to be hard with Brian. He never thought he would have to watch his step around him.

He knocked once, and then rang the doorbell before rapping his knuckles twice against the door. He had done that every day since he was old enough to ride his bike to Brian’s all by himself. It was his knock.

Mrs. Kinney opened the door with an annoyed tug and harsh eyes. Justin lifted his eyes to meet hers, seeing the woman through a veil of blond. He felt like a small child again, unsure and unknowing.

“Is Brian home?” His voice was small. He cleared his throat and shut his eyes. 

“No, Justin, he isn’t. He’s out with…Emmett, I believe,” she responded, her wiry fingers clutching to a glass of wine as if it were a lifeline. “I’ll be sure to tell him you dropped by.” Justin nodded, feeling awkward as this woman stared down at him. He nodded and spun around on his heels, jogging back out to the street.

He walked down the sidewalk, not even bothering to watch for cracks.

**

_Shine I'll stand by you_  
Don't try and push me away  
Cause I'm just gonna stay  
You can shine, I won't deny you  
And don't be afraid it'll all be ok 

“Ooh, that’s Justin!” Emmett exclaimed, fishing his cell phone from his pocket. Brian lifted his head abruptly and opened his eyes, abandoning his former position, which consisted of sulking in a booth at the Liberty Diner.

“Don’t answer it!” Emmett waved him off and clicked talk. Brian growled deep in his throat.

“Hey baby!”

_”Hi Emmett.”_

“What’s wrong? You sound like someone just got rid of all the colors in the world.”

_”Yeah, I know... Listen, is Brian there?”_

“Brian?” Emmett looked over at Brian, noticing the pleading look in his eyes as he waved his hand in front of his neck. “No, Brian isn’t here.”

_”Really? Joan said he was with you.”_

“Um, nope. Haven’t seen him.”

_”Okay. Well, I’m gonna go. Bye.”_

“Bye.” Emmett ended the call and whipped his head to face Brian, murder in his eyes. “Will you please explain to me why I just had to lie to one of my best friends?”

“I don’t want to talk to Justin,” Brian sighed, shaking his chestnut hair from his eyes.

“Liar.”

“You always were one to call me on my shit,” he mumbled, taking a drink of his coffee. Emmett clicked his tongue and shook his head. “I just don’t know what to say to him.”

“How about that you love him?” Brian rolled his eyes and let his head fall to the tabletop dramatically. “Honey, leave the dramatics to me. You need to tell him.”

“Tell him what?” Brian mumbled against the cool table.

“Dumb isn’t a pretty color on you.”

“Emmett,” Brian moaned, not lifting his head. “I thought I was your best friend.”

“You are,” the flamboyant teen replied immediately.

“Then just pat the back of my head and tell me everything will be alright.” Emmett rolled his eyes and did pat the back of his head, but said nothing.

**

Justin turned onto Liberty Avenue with a sigh, cool blue eyes studying the ground as he walked. Something hard collided with him, knocking him flat on his ass and leaving him out of breath. He just shook his head and let out a long whoosh of air, wondering when things would start to look up.

“Fuck!” Came a voice somewhere above him. “I’m so sorry. Let me help you up.” Justin thrust his hand in the general direction of the deep voice. 

“It’s quite alright. Seems like I’ve been knocked on my ass a lot lately,” Justin mumbled.

As the hand pulled him up, he turned his face up and found himself looking into a pair of dazzling green eyes.

The boy in front of him looked no older than he, wearing a heavy winter coat zipped up to his chin. He had unruly sun bleached hair, framing his face in an uneven shag of a haircut. His skin was bronzed, dusted with freckles caused by too much sun. 

Justin didn’t want to think of freckles and childhood happiness lost.

“I wasn’t watching where I was going,” the boy offered, laughing nervously. His tongue poked out to fiddle with the ring through his lip. The sun glinted off of it and caught Justin’s eye. “I just moved here.”

“Let me guess, from someplace warm,” Justin replied, snaking his cold fingers through his windblown hair. 

“San Diego, how’d you guess?”

“You don’t get a tan like that in Pittsburgh. That and the fact you’re wearing a parka.” The taller boy laughed, the ice officially broken. He held out his gloved hand and Justin slipped his own into it.

“I’m Jake.”

“Justin.” They shared a small smile and Jake dropped his hand.

“I’m hungry,” Jake told him, rubbing his stomach for emphasis.

“Subtle,” Justin laughed, shaking his head.

“Want to get something to eat?”

“Sure, I know of a great diner right up the street.”

“Lead the way, Justin.”

**

Emmett looked up when he heard the bell over the door jingle. His hand stopped patting Brian’s head and he sat up to see Emmett’s worried gaze.

“What is it?” Brian asked.

“It doesn’t look like everything is going to be alright.” Brian turned in his seat to follow Emmett’s gaze. When his eyes landed on the door, he swallowed hard as his heart dropped to his feet.


	7. Something More

**AN:** _*tiny whisper of a voice* Reviews make Carly happy._

* * *

The two blonds settled in across from each other in a booth near the door. Jake stood up and shrugged off his thick coat, revealing a body Justin was having a hard time finding any flaw in. He was wearing a deep green tee shirt that set off the color of his eyes, coupled with a pair of old jeans. He had a swimmer’s build, arms strong from years of surfing.

Jake slid back into the booth with a smile, pulling off his gloves. His fingers were long and elegant, silver bands sparkling on his middle finger and thumb. Justin tore his eyes away from the beautiful boy and let his eyes scan the familiar diner.

He saw Brian across the diner, obvious as the smell of grease and lemon cleanser in the air. 

“Fuck,” Justin breathed, the word tasting like vinegar on his lips. He brought his eyes back to the table and hid his face behind the menu. Jake looked around the diner with confusion on his face, trying to see what had perturbed his dining companion.

“That asshole,” Justin muttered angrily to himself. Jake’s brows furrowed in confusion. “I know he made Emmett lie. Fuck him.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” Justin replied, peeking around his menu. “See the tall brunet in that booth on the far wall that is too beautiful for his own damn good?” Jake looked over, seeing the profiles of two good looking brunet boys.

“I see two of them,” Jake replied, his eyes still across the room. Justin blinked and shook his head.

“The one on the right. That’s…the bane of my existence.” Justin lamented, fingers toying with the corner of the menu. Jake looked back at him and nodded.

“Enemy?”

“Worse. Best friend.”

**

“Is he looking over here?” Brian asked. Emmett risked a glance and saw the two blonds deep in conversation, heads bowed in towards each other. Em gulped and turned his attention back to his best friend, looking into sorrowful pools of hazel. 

“No, and you shouldn’t look over there. Now, what looks good? Blueberry pancakes sound heavenly. Dammit Brian I said don’t look.”

But it was too late. Brian’s head whipped around to see Justin and this other… _person_ leaning towards one another, talking and laughing. Brian felt his blood boil and his heart clench. He turned back to Emmett.

“Who _is_ that guy?” Brian asked, tearing a napkin in his fingers.

“I don’t know,” Emmett replied, staring across the diner at Pittsburgh’s latest addition to the gay population. “But he sure is,” he trailed off upon catching Brian’s murderous glare, “so not attractive. Nope, not in the slightest.”

“Ass.”

“Sorry.” Brian shook his head and looked back over.

“Fuck, he is hot,” Brian whispered, eyes squinted in frustration.

“Just a little.” Emmett’s eyes widened and he reached over and smacked Brian in the shoulder. 

“What the fuck was that for?” Brian exclaimed.

“If Justin sees us he is going to know I lied to him. And that you’re avoiding him. And that we both all around suck.” Brian sighed and let his head drop to the table again.

“I’ve got an idea,” Brian said a few moments later. He sat up and fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He flipped it open and held down the ‘2’ key until it dialed Justin’s number.

**

_They will see us waving from such great heights_  
'Come down now,' they'll say  
But everything looks perfect from far away,  
'Come down now,' but we'll stay... 

“What the fuck?” Justin muttered, pulling his cell phone from his jeans. He smiled apologetically at Jake and answered. “What Brian? You’re fifteen feet away.”

_”What? Am not. Oh my god Justin. I didn’t see you come in!”_

“Uh…huh…”

_”I just met up with Emmett here and wanted to know if you wanted to meet up and look there you are. Problem solved.”_

“Right,” Justin replied, dragging out the word. “I’m busy.” He hung up the phone and slipped it back in his pocket. He looked to the side in time to see Brian’s cotton covered torso sliding into the booth next to him. Emmett dropped in next to Jake and Justin’s head dropped to the table.

“What’s up?” Brian asked, eyes trained accusingly on Jake, who sat up straighter and looked around innocently.

“And you are?” Emmett asked Jake, batting his eyelashes.

“Um, I’m Jake.”

“Where did you come from? And why are you here now?” Brian asked, glaring at the boy. Jake gulped and his eyes landed on Justin pleadingly.

“Brian!” Justin chided. “What are you doing?”

“Just making friends,” Brian replied coolly. The two boys stared at each other for a long time, anger and despair in their eyes. Brian’s fingers dug into the vinyl booth as Justin dug his fingernails into his palm. 

They were searching for answers, a resolution.

Finally, Justin turned away.

“Jake, want to get out of here?” Justin asked, locking eyes with the new boy. Jake saw something flash in his eyes, something like lust, regret, and pain all rolled into one fucking amazing shade of blue.

He knew he was about to make a mistake, but at that moment, he didn’t care.

“Sure.”

**

Jake landed on the bed with a thud, naked skin against cool sheets. Justin climbed on top of him and kissed him fiercely, thrusting his tongue into his willing mouth. Jake’s hands tangled in his hair and he flipped them over, so Jake was on top. Green eyes stared into blue for a moment before Jake slid down, running his tongue in one straight line down Justin’s chest and stomach.

Justin put his hand on the back of Jake’s head as the taller boy engulfed his cock. Justin gasped at the sensation the cool metal of his lip ring created against his heated flesh.

“Fuck,” Justin whispered, his lips wet with spit. He lifted his head, expecting to see a mop of chestnut hair. When he instead saw sandy blond, he shook his head and thrust his hips up. Jake bobbed up and down on his dick, rolling his balls between his fingers and palm.

Justin closed his eyes and let Jake bring him to the edge of reality. He teetered along the line until he felt himself cross it, spiraling into a world where nothing mattered but the electricity running through his veins. 

He didn’t think of Brian once.

But after he came, he opened his eyes and saw Brian on top of him, lips crashing down on his. He closed his eyes and kissed back, tasting himself on a foreign tongue.

Not Brian’s tongue. Not Brian.

Never again.

Justin pulled away from Jake, pushing that harsh reality to the back of his mind. He let his eyes wash over Jake’s toned body. Here was this body, so fucking hot, so fucking _there_ …and all Justin could think about was the tiny freckle on Brian’s right hip.

Brian. He looked up and hazel eyes changed to green. Tan skin turned even more tan, brown hair turned blond. Jake.

Justin pushed him down onto his back and fished a condom from the bedside table, handing it to him. Jake rolled it down onto Justin’s cock as he licked the boy’s skin. Jake still tasted of saltwater, as if he were a part of the ocean he spent so much time in. Justin grunted his approval as Jake stroked him, biting his shoulder.

Leave a mark. Make it hurt.

Justin squirted some lube into Jake’s hole and plunged in, moaning as he sunk into this… _stranger_.

**

“Hey Brian,” Johnny greeted him as he approached the entrance to Babylon. “Where’s your blond better half?”

“Who gives a shit?” Brian spat, pushing past Johnny and into the place where the thumpa thumpa never died, where boys never grew up, where you could close your eyes and feel no pain.

His eyes stayed locked on the chains leading to the backroom, his fists clenching and unclenching as he got closer. He held back a sigh as he ventured into the dark room, shrouded in black light and the smell of sex and broken hearts.

**

“Oh fuck. Justin.” Jake lifted his head and bit down on Justin’s collarbone. Justin held onto his hips as he slid in and out, fast and hard, trying not to think or feel.

_”Are you serious?” Justin asked, fingers closing around the condom Brian had just tossed him._

_“If you want to top, you can top,” Brian replied, face uncaring but eyes unsure. “Just…take it easy. It’s not like I do this every day.”_

_“I promise.”_

Justin closed his eyes and saw hazel, opened his eyes and saw green. Dream…into reality. He alternated between worlds every time he blinked. Sweat clung to Jake’s skin as he wrapped his strong legs around Justin’s waist and lifted his hips to meet his thrusts.

**

Brian sunk into the willing opening in front of him, face buried against charcoal colored skin. Why was the skin so pale and white when he closed his eyes?

He reached up to tangle his fingers in silky blond hair, but his fingertips found bald scalp. He gulped and thrust harder.

Those grunts weren’t Justin’s. This body wasn’t Justin’s.

He growled deep in his throat and pulled almost all the way out of the trick. He paused for a moment and slammed back in, hitting the trick’s prostate and making him cry out in pleasure.

Brian’s balls tightened as the lump in his throat grew bigger.

**

Justin forced himself to keep his eyes open, focusing on the metal ring in Jake’s bottom lip. Jake morphed into Brian beneath him and Justin growled in frustration.

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes as he slammed into Jake’s ass. Brian was in bed with them, Brian was in his heart, in his head.

Brian was fucking everywhere.

_They moved together fast and hard, water splashing around them. Justin held onto Brian tightly, digging his fingernails into his flesh. Brian slid in and out faster, never taking his eyes off of Justin’s._

_Then Justin did what he swore he would never do._

_“Brian!” He screamed out, moaning in ecstasy. “ _Brian. Brian_.” He chanted the taller boy’s name over and over, as if it were a mantra he used to make it through the day. Brian bit down on Justin’s chin and thrust harder, staring up into big blue eyes._

“Justin. Justin!”

_“Oh god, Justin.”_

“B-“ Justin bit down on his tongue, preventing the name from rolling off of his lips. Jake’s eyes remained closed and he cried out as he came, splashing their stomach with thick ropes of cum.

Justin closed his eyes and saw Brian’s face, twisted in ecstasy, the moment before he came.

He collapsed on top of Jake and instantly realized how much rougher Jake’s skin was. He pulled out of Jake and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and feeling just as empty as before.

**

Brian tied off the condom and threw it into a dingy metal bin. His eyes burned and his chest ached. He stared at the trick in front of him, panting against the cum stained wall. His eyes widened and he zipped his pants. He made his way to the front of the club and out the front door. He went to step down to the sidewalk when a strong hand grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

“What is your problem, Brian?” Johnny asked. Brian pulled out of his grasp and shrugged, eyes skimming the ground.

“Hey! Are you going to let us in or what?” Johnny turned to the man at the front of the line and glared at him.

“You can wait a fucking minute.” He turned back to Brian and crossed his arms. “Start talking or I’ll sic all these angry queens on you.” Brian looked from the line and back to the large bouncer, sighing.

“It’s Justin.” Johnny nodded and Brian rubbed the back of his neck.

“What about Justin?”

“He loves me.” Brian’s eyes spilled the contents of his heart all over the ground, displaying them for everyone to see.

“And?”

“And I think I love him.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I…“ He stopped, trying to find a suitable answer. What _was_ the problem? His eyes hardened suddenly. He looked Johnny right in the face. “There is no problem.”

“Good,” the bouncer smiled. “Then go get him.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No. There is no problem because there is nothing going on between us.” Brian paused, swallowing the lie. “And there never will be.”

Johnny watched as Brian disappeared into the crowd, head bowed towards the ground. He shook his head. That kid was so fucking stubborn.

**

Justin lay awake for hours, staring at the ceiling long after the body that was so completely not Brian’s curled against him and fell asleep.

**

Brian stayed awake until morning, visions of a smiling Justin dancing under blue and purple lights tattooed behind his eyelids.


	8. Something More

**AN:** _I'm on a roll! Thanks for all the reviews. They mean so much to me. Thanks for loving this story. Now, on with the reading!_

* * *

_”Remember when we were little and this bed seemed so big?” Justin asked as a sixteen year old Brian slipped under the covers with him, moonlight flooding the room._

_“Everything seemed so big when we were little,” he replied, snaking his arms around Justin’s small torso. “Now we’re big and life just seems so small.”_

_“What’s wrong?” Justin asked upon hearing the tone of his voice, turning his head to the side as Brian laid his head on Justin’s bare shoulder. Brian sighed, blowing hot air against Justin’s cool flesh._

_“Everything just keeps changing.” He paused, fingers idly tracing patterns only he could see on Justin’s stomach. He looked up into Justin’s eyes. “Promise me you’ll never change, okay? Promise me this will never change.”_

_“What makes you think this would change?” Justin asked, sliding his knuckles along Brian’s cheek. The taller boy sighed._

_“Everything else changes. Our friendship is the only thing I’m sure of. The only thing I’m absolutely positive of is that you are my best friend…and I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_“Then promise me things will never change.” Brian looked into Justin’s eyes hopefully and the blond smiled._

_“I promise.”_

Justin watched sunlight flood his bedroom, trying not to think of broken promises and teenage angst.

Teen angst was so cliché. But also so…real.

“Morning,” Jake whispered. Justin nearly jumped out of his skin. He had forgotten Jake was there.

Jake was cute. Jake was sweet. Jake was sexy. Jake was wonderful.

Jake was not Brian.

The taller boy sat up and rubbed his eyes, smiling sleepily at Justin.

“Jake, we need to talk.”

“About?”

“Last night. It was a mistake.”

“Oh that? Yeah I know. Have you seen my jeans?” Jake got out of the bed and pulled his underwear up over his hips, scanning the floor for the articles of clothing that were torn off his body in the flurry of lust and kisses. Justin stared at him in disbelief.

“Huh?” Jake looked up, smiling that sexy smile at Justin’s expression. He climbed back into the bed in just his underwear, sitting cross-legged in front of Justin.

“Justin, I think you’re great. But, that wasn’t me you were fucking last night. Hell, you were barely in the bed with me.” Justin shook his head and blinked slowly. “I believe you were thinking of someone whose name starts with a B.” Jake winked and Justin blushed.

“You heard that little slip, huh?”

“Yeah, and I saw it in your eyes.” Jake sighed and took Justin’s hands in his own. “You and I can be really good friends, I think. But until Brian gets out of the dumb tree, I’m going to be your boyfriend.”

“I’m…not following.” Jake laughed and let go of Justin’s hands.

“Brian is crazy about you, and is jealous as hell.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Oh my god. Are you blind? Were you there at the diner yesterday? He wanted to rip my throat and we were just talking. Imagine what he’ll do if he sees me holding you, kissing you.” Justin’s eyes lit up with realization.

“He’ll pop a vein.”

“Exactly! And realize what he’s missing. Just, um, protect me okay because I think he could beat my ass.” The two boys started laughing together, friendship blossoming.

“I will.”

“Good. So we start tonight.”

“Let the games begin.” The two blonds shook hands, devious grins in place.

“Seriously though, where the fuck are my jeans?”

**

“Brian.” Emmett stared down at the teen sleeping in a little ball on his bedroom floor. “Brian!” 

“Hmph. What?” He asked sleepily, curling himself into a tighter ball. Emmett rolled his eyes and nudged his hip with his toe.

“If you’re going to sneak into my bedroom through my window in the middle of the night and pass out on my floor, please inform me so I don’t trip over your dumb ass on my way to the little girl’s room, kay?”

“Oh,” Brian mumbled, extracting himself from the hard floor. “Sorry.”

“You have a real problem with sleeping at home don’t you?”

“Yes. I usually sleep at Justin’s but _oh no_ I couldn’t because he was _fucking_ that hot guy. That and we’re not even really speaking to each other.” He got up and dusted himself off. Suddenly he stopped and reached out, grabbing Emmett by the shoulders. “Oh god. Do you think he _was_ fucking that Jake guy? I didn’t really think so but I just said it out loud and _oh god_ they were, weren’t they?”

“Brian, stop,” Emmett told him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. “You’re acting like a prepubescent little girl.”

“Right,” Brian replied, squaring himself. “That’s your job.”

“There’s the asshole we all know and feel ambivalent about.” Emmett kissed Brian’s cheek and dusted some invisible lint from his shoulders. “By the way, never talk all fast and high pitched like that again. You were really freaking me out.”

“Okay.” Brian replied, nodding his head. “Can I use your shower?”

“Sure. You know where it is.” Brian nodded and stripped, throwing his pants at Emmett’s face. “Charming.” Brian laughed and disappeared into the bathroom.

A few minutes later Emmett heard music coming from the pile of Brian’s clothes.

_I can't wake up to these reminders of who I am_  
A failure at everything... 18 going on extinct  
I know my place it's nowhere you should roam 

“That boy goes through ring tones like I go through boyfriends,” Emmett muttered to himself, digging through Brian’s pockets until he found the phone. He frowned at the choice of lyrics as he brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

_”Em? Why are you answering Brian’s phone?”_

“Hey Justin. He’s in the shower. He crashed here last night. Of course he didn’t tell me and let me trip over him this morning. Bitch made me twist my ankle.” Justin laughed and Emmett smiled. 

_”Actually I’m really glad you answered because I was trying to get a hold of you. Your phone is off.”_

“Is it? Oh. What’s up, baby?”

_”Okay, well, remember that guy yesterday? Jake?”_

“Please. Are you kidding? I never forget a boy like that.” Justin laughed again. Emmett noticed he sounded really happy, and really relaxed…and oh _shit._ “You fucked him!”

_”Okay Emmett, why don’t you take out an ad in the newspapers?”_

“Okay fine. I’ll shut up, on one condition.”

_”What?”_

“Tell me everything!”

_”Emmett!”_

“Fine. Spoilsport.”

_”Jake and I-“_

“Jake and I? _Jake and I?_ What happened to Brian and I? Don’t give up!”

_”Emmett shut the fuck up and listen to me!”_

“Okay, okay. Shoot…again.”

_”Jake and I have devised a plan, and I need to enlist your services.”_

“Go on.”

_”I told Jake about my situation, and he wants to help me. So, basically, Jake is going to pose as my boyfriend to make Brian jealous.”_

“Okay, that’s just mean.”

_”What? No it’s not. It will make Brian realize he wants to be with me.”_

“No, it’s mean to _me_. I’m the one that’s going to have to deal with his shit after he combusts with anger and rage. That’s fucked up, Justin. I’m taking your Christmas present back.”

_”Um…”_

“I’m kidding. Go on.” Justin laughed and Emmett sat cross-legged on his bed, waiting to hear more.

_”Okay, so I need you to get Brian to Babylon tonight.”_

“Not a problem.” 

_”Jake and I will be there. You point us out, and say how hot we look together or something, okay? Just act like you don’t know it’s all a sham. The Farce, as we like to call it.”_

“Deal. What time?”

_”Ten. See you later.”_

“Bye.” Emmett hung up the phone and deleted Justin’s number from the recent calls list. He put the phone back in Brian’s pants and jumped on the bed just as Brian was coming out of the bathroom. He changed back into his clothes and fell back onto the bed with Emmett.

“So, up for Babylon?” Emmett asked casually. Brian turned and stared at him.

“It’s _noon._ "

“Not _now._ Tonight.” Brian sighed and ran his fingers through his wet hair, shrugging.

“I don’t know. I was just there last night.” Emmett gave him a knowing look.

“Yeah…but tonight you’ll see more than the backroom. Oh don’t look at me like that. I know you.” Brian laughed and stared up at the ceiling. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Just you and me. We’ll dance and drink, and you can forget all about Justin.” Brian looked over at Emmett and smiled sadly.

“You’re on.”

* * *

Next up... _The Farce!_ Hehe.

* * *


	9. Something More

**AN:** _You guys all know how fond I am of flashbacks, right? Well, this flashback took on a mind of it's own and took up the whole chapter! But it's not as if you guys dislike sex between our favorite boys so it's okay? Right? Right. The Farce shall commence next chapter. Promise. =D_

* * *

_Brian and Justin waltzed into Justin’s bedroom, singing “Let’s Hear It For the Boy” at the top of their lungs. Their arms found their way around each other and they fell on the floor, laughing._

_“I can’t believe we got into Babylon!” Justin exclaimed, laughing even harder. Brian smiled at his best friend fondly, eyes catching on the glitter stuck to his skin._

_“Barely seventeen and already club hopping,” Brian replied with a smirk._

_“That Johnny guy is too cool.” Brian nodded his agreement, fingers toying with the button on Justin’s jeans idly._

_“I love that your parents are never home,” Brian told him. Justin nodded and they stayed on the floor, staring up at the glowing stars glued to Justin’s ceiling. After a long comfortable silence, in which Justin passed the time by running his fingertips up and down Brian’s forearm, the blond turned towards his best friend._

_“Brian?” The brunet turned, raising his eyebrows. “I have a secret.”_

_“Do tell.” Justin grinned and put his finger on Brian’s chin, tilting his head to the side. He pressed his full lips against Brian’s ear._

_“I…” he whispered, blowing hot air against Brian’s ear in a most enticing way. “am so very drunk.” Brian laughed. He was tipsy himself, but his Irish blood would not allow him to get drunk off of the small amount of alcohol they got their hands on in the club._

_“I know. I had to save you from that leather daddy,” Brian told him. Justin burst out laughing. “Hey little boy, want to come sit on my nine inch cock?” Brian mimicked, enunciating the “k” with a click of his tongue in Justin’s ear. The blond giggled harder, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “You were so going to go, too.”_

_“Was not!” Justin protested with a slap to Brian’s hip._

_“You were too!” They started laughing together again, high on dancing and each other. “Why the hell are we on the floor?”_

_“Good question.” Justin looked around, and then up at Brian as he stood up. “You are so…tall.” He raised his arms in the air and waved them around. “Carry me!”_

_“What?” Brian asked, laughing again. Justin thrust his arms in the air once more and let out an exasperated sigh. “Carry me to the bed, Jeeves!”_

_Brian rolled his eyes with a grin and scooped Justin off of the floor. He carried him across the room and tossed him on the bed. Justin bounced and laughed, as if that was the most amusing thing he had ever experienced. Brian kicked his shoes off and pulled Justin’s off as well before getting into bed. The two teenage boys curled up to one another, Justin’s head finding Brian’s shoulder and Brian’s fingers immediately tangling in Justin’s hair._

_They were silent for a long while, each lost in their own thoughts._

_Brian felt Justin open his mouth against his ear, and then close it again. He could feel the tension in Justin’s body and after the third time he opened his mouth and shut it again, Brian turned to him. He raised his eyebrow, his nose brushing against Justin’s._

_“Brian…” Justin looked down and shut his eyes. He took a deep breath and opened them again, meeting Brian’s stare head on. “I want…”_

_“What do you want?”_

_“I want to lose my virginity.”_

Brian rolled over in his bed, as if the action would clear the memory from his thoughts. His eyes were staring out the window, but his mind was staring into Justin’s eyes. His eyes were so blue that night. His body was so warm and his lips were so soft.

He shut his eyes against the memory, but his mind refused to push the stop button.

The memory of that night played on.

_”You want to what?” Brian gulped, eyes widening in panic and…excitement. Justin licked his lips and Brian watched his eyes shift in hue, mesmerized, as they turned to indigo._

_“I don’t want to be a virgin anymore. I want to know what sex is like.” Brian gulped, unable to tear his eyes away. “And I want you to show me.”_

_“Um,” Brian mumbled, dumbstruck by Justin’s request. He closed his eyes and felt Justin’s soft lips and warm, wet tongue making their way up his neck. “Okay.”_

_“Okay?” Justin asked, pulling away from him._

_“Okay,” Brian replied, shaking his head. He moved to kiss Justin but stopped, grabbing his shoulders instead. “Wait, how drunk are you?”_

_“Drunk enough to be able to tell you I want you to fuck me,” Justin replied thoughtfully. “But not so drunk that you should feel bad for doing so.”_

_“Oh?”_

_“In fact, I think if you do, you’ll feel very, very good,” Justin smirked. He took Brian’s earlobe between his lips and suckled on it, sliding his hand up Brian’s thigh._

_Brian shut his eyes and thought of a million and one reasons as to why he shouldn’t fuck his very best friend, and only one good reason why he should._

_Justin’s body felt so fucking good in his arms._

_And that was enough to blow all those reasons not to right out of the fucking water._

_“Works for me.” Brian crashed his lips down upon Justin’s, pulling him tight against his body as they kissed for what seemed like hours. He felt Justin harden against his hip and his hand caressed the bulge through the denim. He used the rough material to his advantage, feeling Justin grunt and mewl into his mouth as he slid the denim across the head of his cock._

_The blond rolled Brian onto his back and swiftly unbuttoned his shirt, kissing and licking each bit of newly exposed flesh. The last button popped off and rolled across the floor. Brian pulled the material off of his heated skin and tossed it on the floor. He pulled Justin’s shirt over his head and the blond did not remove his teeth from Brian’s nipple unto the soft cotton material came between them._

_They made quick work of their remaining clothes and then Brian pinned Justin to the bed on his back, holding his hands over his head. Justin’s head went up to kiss him but Brian pulled back. He stared into his dark eyes and then let his eyes travel down his lips, red, shiny, and swollen._

_“Are you sure?” Brian asked, pushing lust aside in favor of concern._

_“Brian,” Justin replied, arching his back up unconsciously. “I have never been more sure of anything.” Their chests made contact and Brian gasped. “I want you inside me. I want to share this moment with you.”_

_Brian kissed Justin then, hard and fast, slow and gentle, passionate and…loving._

_“Fuck me,” Justin mumbled against Brian’s wet lips. The taller boy bit Justin’s lip, tugging on it slightly as he tried to regain some control._

_Brian leaned over to retrieve the ever present condom and lube from the pocket of his jeans. He opened it with his teeth and stared at Justin as he rolled it down his cock with shaky fingers. This was a first time for him as well. It was going to be the first time he had sex with someone that wasn’t a trick, someone that meant something._

_Justin meant so much._

_Brian coated his fingers liberally with lube as he positioned himself between Justin’s legs. He prepared the blond quickly yet gently; kissing him each time he winced or moaned._

_Brian extracted his fingers and felt Justin sigh disappointedly into his mouth. He put Justin’s legs over his shoulders, pressing the blunt head of his dick at Justin’s slick entrance. He caught the flash of panic in Justin’s eyes._

_“Are you sure?” Brian asked once more, holding onto Justin’s calves. The blond swallowed hard and nodded, sweat forming on his hairline._

_“I’m sure. Very sure.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Will it hurt?”_

_“A little. But it’s okay. I got you.” He pushed in and watched Justin’s lip turn purple as he bit down on it so hard. He cried out in pain from the intrusion and Brian immediately crashed his lips down on Justin’s, swallowing his cries and trying so hard to swallow his pain._

_After a few moments of stillness and silence, Justin pushed back against Brian. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in even slower until they fell until a steady rhythm, Justin meeting each thrust. Brian sped up just a little, watching Justin’s face for any sign of discomfort._

_Justin’s moans were the biggest turn on Brian had ever encountered._

_Rough, raw sounds escaped their lips. Brian studied each and every expression that graced Justin’s face. He was fighting to keep his eyes open and Brian wanted a gallon of paint in the color of his eyes at that moment._

_“Feel good?” Brian asked, snaking his fingers in Justin’s damp hair. The blond nodded eagerly, reaching up to tug on Brian’s earlobe and run his hand down his bicep._

_“I never imagined it could feel like this. Oh god.” Brian kissed him again, thrusting his tongue into the inviting mouth. He wrapped his fist around Justin’s cock at the same moment he thrust hard against his prostate. The blond screamed out and Brian reveled in the sound._

_Justin clawed at Brian’s back, desperately clamoring for that last shred of reality. But it was too late; he had already been pushed violently over the edge of oblivion._

_One more thrust against his prostate sent him into orgasm. He screamed out and saw flashes of the most vivid colors behind his eyelids. Brian watched closely as Justin succumbed to orgasmic bliss. He kissed him once more before crying out with his own orgasm. He filled the condom to maximum capacity and collapsed onto Justin’s sweaty body, his cum smashed between tight teenage stomachs._

_“That was…” Justin panted. “It felt…Oh god.”_

_“I know what you mean,” Brian breathed into his ear before licking the lobe. He lifted his head and smiled down at Justin, his golden hair splayed out on the pillow._

_“Thank you,” Justin whispered. Brian smiled and pressed his lips against his. They kissed for another hour before falling asleep tangled up with each other._

“Fuck!” Brian called out into his dark bedroom. He couldn’t clear his mind of Justin. It was fucking frustrating. He picked up his cell phone and looked at the glowing display. It was 9 PM. Babylon in one hour. He dialed a familiar number and brought the phone to his ear.

_”Hey Brian._

“Hey Emmett. What are you doing?”

_”I’m at the diner with my favorite fag hag ever.”_

“Oh god. Daphne? She probably hates me.”

_”No, not Daphne. Sidrine. We’re just getting a bite to eat.”_

“Oh. How is she?”

_”She’s good. She says hi and…shit!”_ Brian sighed as he heard the phone being handed over.

_Brian, I swear to all that is unholy, if you don’t get over yourself and tell that boy that you love-“_ Brian rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

_”Okay sweetie, that’s enough. Sorry. Okay, Brian. You’ll be ready by 9:45, yes?”_

“Yes.”

_”And you’ll look incredibly hot, yes?”_

“That’s a given.”

_”Okay, I’ll be there at 9:45. Bye bye!”_

“Bye.” Brian hung up the phone and dragged himself into the shower, blond hair and blue eyes still plaguing his thoughts.

**

“And that’s the plan,” Emmett finished. Sidrine smiled widely.

“And you’ll call me right after and tell me everything,” she replied.

“Of course I will,” he told her, kissing her cheek. “I have a feeling this will be a night to remember.”

**

Justin opened the door to see Jake on the other side, dressed in a sleeveless black shirt and tight jeans.

“Wow, you look hot,” Justin told him. Jake bowed his head and smiled widely.

“And you’re a vision in blue, m’ lady. Ready to go?”

“Yup.” Justin nodded and shut the door, locking it behind him. “Let’s go turn some heads.”


	10. Something More

**AN:** _Okay, sorry for the wait. Threatening me with imprisonment worked. I slaved away on this chapter all night. I’ll be the walking dead at work tomorrow, but it’s all for you guys! You’re worth it! I know my AN's are always excruciatingly long, but it's the only time I get to tell all of you how much you're appreciated. This is the longest chapter of this story so far, and I’m quite proud of it. It was originally only going to be 1,300 words, but I bulked it up a bit. So now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…The Farce! *grin*_

* * *

_You've got a lure I can't deny,_  
But you've had your chance so say goodbye  
Say goodbye… 

Brian hit the stop button on his stereo as the last strains of the song he had been listening to for the last hour ended. He looked himself over in the mirror, frowning at the bags under his eyes.

He heard a car horn outside and sighed.

_”Justin! Will you hurry the fuck up?” Brian called from his car as Justin exited his front door. The blond took a pace that could only be called strolling until he reached the car._

_“The lake isn’t going anywhere, Brian.” Justin took his beach towel from his neck and tossed it in the backseat._

_“Yeah,” Brian replied. “But the sun is.”_

_“The sun is right here, baby,” Justin laughed and threw his arms out to his sides, letting his head fall back. He closed his eyes, basking in the warmth of a summer afternoon. Sunshine cradled every bit of him, making him glow. Brian was awed by the sight._

_In that moment, Justin was worth the sun’s weight in gold._

Time for Babylon.

He never thought he would dread that statement.

**

“Right here,” Justin said, pointing to a parking space.

Jake maneuvered his car through the crowd of shiny young men, a mass of Peter Pans, and took the spot. The two boys got out and made their way along the side of Babylon. The walls practically vibrated with the music and the excitement of its patrons. Jake stopped at the end of the line, getting in it. Justin laughed and shook his head, pulling Jake out of line and forward.

“We don’t wait,” Justin informed him. Jake smirked, impressed.

“That so?”

“The bouncer loves us. Me. Whatever.” Justin shook his head and Jake noticed the sad look in his eyes. Brian was the air in his lungs, Jake realized. 

He hoped he found something so real someday.

“Hey,” he said, wrapping his arm around the shorter boy’s shoulders in a comforting embrace. They stopped walking and just looked at each other. The alley was filled with music and chatter, catcalls and rejections. “You’ll be us again. This plan will work.”

“This is the longest we’ve gone without really talking to each other,” Justin told him. “It’s weird. It’s like this part of me is missing.” Jake smiled and kissed his lips in a friendly, comforting way. 

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“Oh, you can tell?” Justin asked in mock surprise. The blonds rested their foreheads together and Justin thought about how tall Brian was. His face always fit so perfectly against Brian’s neck, like a mold.

_”You know, there was time we were the same height,” Justin spouted randomly as the boys walked through their junior high school._

_“When we were, what, four?” Justin pushed him playfully and they both laughed._

_“No! Until a few years ago. We were around the same height and then that one summer you had that major growth spurt. I remember because you had that little belly right before.” Brian stopped dead in his tracks._

_“Excuse me?” Justin turned to face him._

_“Yeah you had a little bit of chub right before, like your body was getting ready for it. Then you grew like eight feet and was skinny as a rail again.”_

_“Fuck you. I did not have a belly. Ever.”_

_“Whatever you say.” The two boys walked on in silence. They met up with Emmett near their lockers._

_“Hey Emmett,” Justin said to him. “Remember that growth spurt Brian had a few summers ago?”_

_“Yes!” Emmett replied. “Because he had that cute little tummy right before!” Both boys started patting Brian’s hard abs._

_“I hate you both,” Brian deadpanned. “The point of the story is, when we were eleven I had a growth spurt, and Justin stopped growing forever.”_

_“Fucker!” Justin punched him in the arm and the three boys laughed all the way to class._

Justin slipped his hand into Jake’s and strolled up to the door. The bouncer was watching over the entrance as usual. As always, he stopped the flow of the line to greet Justin.

“Hey!” A tall man dressed in lime green protested. Johnny held up his hand.

“Shut it.”

“Hey Johnny!” Justin greeted him. The large bouncer looked over at the two boys. He smiled at Justin and raised his eyebrow at Jake. 

“Who’s this?” Johnny asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Jake rolled his eyes.

“Everyone just loves Brian, don’t they?” Jake asked, a smirk across his lips. The bouncer smiled and softened his gaze.

“Yup,” Johnny replied. “Better get used to it, kid.”

“I’ll try,” Jake told him.

“Brian and Emmett are already inside,” Johnny informed the smaller blond. “I heard you two were on the splits.” He eyed Jake again wearily, glancing at their interlocked fingers.

“Hopefully, that will change tonight. Johnny, meet Jake. Jake is assisting me in what we like to call _The Farce_.” The boys explained their plan to Johnny, who laughed in amusement.

“Good luck boys,” Johnny told them as he ushered them inside.

**

“Brian, I’m going to kick you in the head.” 

Emmett looked over at his friend, who was too busy moping and staring into space. Ten guys gave Brian the once over in a five minute span and Brian didn’t even blink. He shook his head and turned towards Emmett.

“Huh?”

“I said I was going to kick you in the head. Cheer the fuck up.” Brian rolled his eyes and took another sip of his double Beam. “Hear the music. _Feel_ the beat. Come on, dance with me.”

Emmett grabbed Brian’s hands and led him out onto the dance floor. He positioned them so he could watch the door as they danced. After one song, Emmett spotted Jake and Justin make their way onto the floor. Justin caught Em’s eye and they made their way over to them. Justin and Jake started dancing together, grinding and thrusting against one another. Emmett smirked.

Let The Farce commence.

“Uh oh,” Emmett muttered, putting all of his acting skills into his performance. Brian caught Emmett looking over his shoulder and turned to see what his gaze had landed on. What he did see made his blood run cold.

Justin, _his Justin_ , with that other guy. The same guy from the diner. The pretty guy. Brian stopped dancing, his arms falling limp at his sides. His eyes remained glued on the train wreck in front of him. He watched Justin’s tongue slip into Jake’s mouth. He watched Jake’s hands slide underneath Justin’s tight blue tee shirt. He watched them bump. He watched them grind. He watched them kiss.

He watched it all, and all he saw was Justin looking so deliriously…happy.

He wanted to die.

“Fuck,” Brian muttered. He watched them longer than his tired eyes could stand. Glitter clung to Justin’s skin and Jake’s lips sparkled as they sucked at Justin’s pale flesh. The brunet shut his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. He whirled back on Emmett.

“Did you know they were going to be there?” Emmett stayed silent. “ _Did you?!_ ” Emmett opened his mouth, and then quickly shut it. He shook his head a little and then shrugged, guilt in his eyes.

“Thanks a lot,” Brian told him, allowing Emmett to see his vulnerability. He quickly shook it off, slipping the mask in place. “Fuck it. Let’s all have a drink.”

“What?” Emmett asked in confusion. 

“Justin!” Brian called. “Over here!” The blonds looked over and saw Brian waving. They looked at each other, and then made their way to the bar. Brian forced himself to smile.

He was forcing himself not to care.

“Hey Justin,” Brian said through clenched teeth as he approached. Justin could see the fury in his eyes, but smiled sweetly at his best friend. He slipped his arm around Jake’s torso, feeling the surfer tense up as Brian’s harsh eyes landed on him. “ _Jake._ ”

“Hey Brian,” Jake replied, averting his gaze from Brian’s beautifully haunted eyes. 

“Steve!” Brian called, leaning on the bar to get the bartender’s attention. “Four doubles, on me.”

The bartended lined up four glasses and poured them as the teens waited. They each grabbed their glass and Brian raised his in the air before knocking back the entire thing.

“Cheers!” He shouted, slamming his glass back on the table. “Steve! Can I get a refill?”

“Sure thing, Brian.” The brunet took the glass and emptied it again. He turned back to the group and smiled cheekily, letting the bar hold him up as his knees rebelled against him.

“So…” He sighed, his eyes scanning their faces. “Jake. When did you move here?”

“About three weeks ago,” Jake replied uneasily. Justin leaned against him, resting his cheek against Jake’s shoulder. “I moved from San Diego. Don’t ask why. My parents are insane.” Emmett laughed and Jake smiled. “I’ve found one good thing about Pittsburgh, though.” Jake kissed Justin’s temple and the shorter blond blushed. Brian rolled his eyes.

“Steve! Another.”

“Brian, that’s three in the last five minutes, not counting the two you had earlier.” Emmett informed him. 

“I can count. I attended kindergarten.” Steve poured him another and he drank it in one gulp, wincing at the burn in his throat. Emmett and Justin shared a look, smirking slightly. Justin leaned over and whispered something in Jake’s ear. The taller blond’s smile turned into a grin. Brian shut his eyes against the harsh reality of it.

In actuality, Justin was just making noises. He didn’t say one intelligible word.

But Brian didn’t know that, did he?

These two boys were so spectacularly _beautiful_ that it made Brian feel ill. He saw the ring through the right side of Jake’s lip, and then saw a flash of his lips and that metal on Justin’s torso in his mind. He shook his head and took a deep breath, clearing the image.

Jake pushed Justin’s hair up and pressed his lips against Justin’s forehead. The blond giggled and pushed against Jake. Brian closed his eyes and counted to five, remembering a time when Justin only looked at _him_ like that.

“Aren’t you two _precious_?” Brian spouted sarcastically. He slammed back another shot. Emmett slyly slid a bottle of water towards Brian’s hand that was resting on the bar and he took it without thinking, drinking from that instead.

_Give me tonight_  
Then if you don't wanna stay  
Girl, I'll just forget you  
You'll see I'm right  
You won't get to go away  
Love ain't gonna let you 

“Oh Justin, I love this song!” Jake exclaimed. “Dance with me?” Justin kissed Jake’s lips softly and nodded. Jake took Justin’s hands and led him to the floor. Their arms went around each other and Brian swore he heard something inside of him break. It sounded suspiciously like his heart.

How could something so encased and hidden in rough concrete break like it was made of glass?

He took another drink of his water, swallowed it, and looked down at the bottle with scorn in his eyes. His gaze landed accusingly on Emmett, who rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Sorry I tried to slip you a drink that wasn’t alcoholic. Knock back a few more. Steve, a double for Mr. Kinney and a Cosmo for myself, if you please.”

“What’s going on with those two?” Brian demanded. Emmett merely shrugged. Steve set their drinks down and Emmett took a sip from his. “Tell me.” 

“I don’t know.”

Brian growled in frustration at his friend’s unwillingness to talk. He looked back at the two blonds engulfed in one another. Jake’s hand slid down Justin’s back and Brian had to look away. He then looked towards the black and blue abyss that was the entrance to the backroom.

“Fuck this,” Brian muttered. He slammed back his drink and made his way towards the backroom. Emmett followed him and grabbed his arm, spinning him around.

“No.”

“What?”

“No, Brian!” Emmett shouted. “You aren’t going to fuck this away. You’re going to _deal_ with it!” Brian stared at him blankly. “I know. What a concept.”

“Fuck you.” Brian wrenched his arm away from Emmett and scowled at him. He looked back over at Justin and Jake, a hand in each other’s hair and smiles on both their faces. His gaze shifted back to Emmett and he swallowed hard. “He looks happy.”

“So? Maybe it’s all…a farce.” Brian ran his fingers through his hair and dropped his hand back at his side. “He loves _you_ , Brian Kinney, the stubborn asshole.”

“Emmett.”

“I don’t want to hear it. Go.” He pointed towards the blond and gave Brian a look that dared him to argue.

Brian turned back towards the two blonds and stomped towards them, his hands curling into fists. He stopped within inches of them, watching Justin jump when he opened his eyes and saw him so close.

“Brian!” Justin exclaimed, wiping damp hair from bright blue eyes. Jake pulled his tongue away from the expanse of Justin’s neck and turned around suddenly. 

“This may sound cliché,” Brian said sarcastically, “But may I cut in?” Jake looked over at Justin, who nodded. The two blonds disentangled themselves from one another and Jake headed over towards Emmett. A new song started and Brian and Justin danced together, awkwardly at first. 

“So…” Brian started, straining be heard over that (god damned) thumpa thumpa. “Are you guys like a couple now?” His voice was sarcastic and aloof, but Justin could see the seriousness in his eyes.

Justin always saw behind the mask.

“You always were one to cut the bullshit and go straight to the point,” Justin laughed. Brian grabbed Justin’s hips and grinded his pelvis against his, moving with the music. The taller boy felt heavy on his feet as the alcohol began to take affect. He ran his fingers through Justin’s hair without thinking. He’d always loved Justin’s hair. He pressed his lips against Justin’s seashell ear, breathing against it and making the smaller boy shudder.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

**

“Looks like it’s going well,” Jake commented as he danced with Emmett. The flamboyant teen looked over Jake’s shoulder to see for himself.

“No it doesn’t,” he said flatly. His eyes went back to Jake’s face and his arm went over his head as he danced. Jake furrowed his brows in confusion and looked again.

“It doesn’t?”

“No,” Emmett replied. “You never saw the way they danced before. Sex just fucking _dripped_ from them. You could cum in your pants just from walking by. They just flowed together until they were just one mass of skin, light and dark. They’re fucking hot. There was just this raw _energy_. If you know them like I know them, and you look at them now, all you see is pain and tension. The passion is gone like the light from their eyes.”

“You make it sound like they’re Romeo and Juliet.” Jake told him, holding onto Emmett’s hips just a little tighter. Emmett smiled sadly and pulled Jake closer, shaking his head.

“Sometimes I think they are. But unlike those star crossed lovers, the only ones against _them_ …are themselves.”

**

“Answer me,” Brian commanded. His eyes locked on the shiny trail of saliva on Justin’s jaw, left by Jake’s tongue. Another kick to the heart. He forced himself to look into Justin’s eyes. It was too dark, the lights where flashing too many different colors, blue to purple to green to orange and back, and Brian couldn’t tell what color his eyes were.

Brian’s most reliable insight to Justin was gone.

“Why? Do you give a shit?” Justin retorted, hands not leaving Brian’s shoulders. It was so hard to have a conversation with such significance as this one surrounded by tweaked out club kids and loud music. Brian felt the bass thump beneath his ribcage and he took a deep breath, steeling himself. He looked into Justin’s eyes and pulled him closer until their chests were flush against each other’s.

“Feel that?” Brian asked cryptically, pulling Justin up so that his feet left the floor. He was propped up in Brian’s arms, pale artist’s fingers clutching to strong tan biceps.

“Feel what?”

“The beat. Our bodies going thump, our hearts going thump, our minds, the music. Everything just going thump thump.”

“You’re drunk,” Justin scolded, but his eyes didn’t leave Brian’s. He didn’t try to get his feet to touch the ground.

His feet hardly ever touched the ground around Brian anyway.

“I am not,” Brian replied, knowing full well that the alcohol was seeping into his system. He was already starting to feel numb.

Good.

Brian set Justin back down on the floor and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Justin did the same and rested his face in that perfect spot on Brian’s neck. They moved together, each motion fluid and graceful. They stopped thinking and let their bodies do all the work.

Their bodies said what their minds were too stubborn to comprehend, what their mouths wouldn’t allow them to say. 

They flowed together, hips swaying to the beat, arms around each other. Brian pressed his lips against Justin’s forehead and breathed in his scent. Hands explored familiar territory and lips brushed against damp skin apprehensively.

**

“ _Now_ it seems to be going well.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

**

The song ended and Brian gave Justin a whisper of a kiss. He looked Justin in the eye and sighed, staring until his image grew hazy, shrouded in purple and blue light.

Just like his dream. But in his dream, the music never stopped.

He blinked and kissed the corner of his best friend’s mouth, his voice lost somewhere deep in his throat. He stared until his eyes burned with tears he wouldn’t allow to the surface.

Justin never looked away.

“You have _no_ idea how much I give a shit, Justin.”

The music started again and Justin found himself all alone on the dance floor, watching Brian’s back as he slipped out the door.


	11. Something More

**AN:** _Well, I have one more day of being Fic of the Month. I just want to thank everyone that nominated me, and everyone that reads and reviews. This chapter is short and kind of silly, but I plan to have the next chapter up incredibly soon._

_Also, a few of you expressed your interest in my livejournal. I did not have one, but I got one just for you guys. You can read it[here](http://www.livejournal.com/users/_mournthewicked/). So, go read it, add it, comment on it. Thanks. Now, on with the show._

* * *

_Would someone please call a surgeon_  
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart  
That you deserted for better company 

 

Brian made his way across the field, cradling his soccer ball under one arm and a bottle of Beam in the opposite hand. He stopped a few yards from the soccer net and dropped the ball at his feet, swaggering back and forth a little. He looked down at the bottle in his hand and took another swallow of the amber liquid.

He had zoomed right past drunk, and was floating somewhere near really fucking _trashed._

He locked his eyes on the goal and gave the ball a swift, hard kick. It landed in the middle of the net, despite his drunken state.

“I can still do something right,” he muttered, walking over to the net to retrieve the soccer ball. “Justin and I had sex under this net. Yes, I am talking to myself. Yes, I’m comfortable with that.”

Brian sighed and scooped up the ball, clutching the bottle of Beam like a lifeline. “The grass is so…green.” Brian set down his bottle of booze and patted the grass before picking the bottle right back up again. “Jake’s eyes are green. Fuck Jake.” 

“Jake isn’t even good looking.” He dropped his ball back on the kicking spot and took another drink from his bottle. “Oh god. Who am I kidding? Jake is ridiculously good looking.“

“I’m good lookinger. Wait. Lookinger? No. I’m…fuck it. I’m drunk and so much more attractive.” Brian continued to mumble to himself as he kicked the ball into the net, retrieved it, and repeated the whole process. The cool night air was his only listener. He kicked the ball again, sending it sailing into the net once more. Another empty victory in front of an invisible crowd.

“I mean really, what’s Jake got that I haven’t got?” Brian asked out loud, taking another swig from the bottle, the liquid no longer burning. “I mean besides a willingness to openly express his feelings and show him public displays of affection. …And that god damn lip ring.”

Brian bounced the ball on his knee while taking a drink from his bottle at the same time. That’s talent.

“Fuck, I could do those things. I could tell Justin I care about him,” Brian replied. He was now looking down at the soccer ball, as if it held the answers. He bounced the ball into his hands, cradling the bottle under his arm. “But for what, soccer ball, for what?” He raised an eyebrow at the soccer ball he was conversing with. “Oh god. I’m Tom Hanks.” He turned the ball over in his hands and read the brand across it. “Spalding?! Even the fucking _ball_ is against me. Fuck you ball. Fuck. You.”

He held the bottle of Beam out in front of him and then walked over to a tree and set it on the ground. “That’s enough of you, Beam.”

“Anyway, where was I?” He stopped and thought about it for a second. He nodded and tossed the ball up in the air. “For what cost? So we can love each other and eventually end up hating each other so I’ll have no best friend _or_ boyfriend? Fuck that shit.”

He kicked the ball in the net again, feeling a momentary twinge of regret for kicking Spalding in the face. He shook his head, and retrieved the ball.

“I mean, all relationships end in tragedy. My parents hate each other. Justin’s parents are always on separate business trips. And I know Craig is fucking around on Mom #2. Emmett’s mom tried to kill his dad with a pitchfork. …Fucking southerners.” He picked up the ball again. “So what makes you think me and Justin would be any different? We’d be happy. Then it would go to shit like everything else right?”

**

“What do you think, Spalding?” He asked sarcastically. He had been kicking the ball around the field for an hour, trying to sober up. He was still far from it, but at least he wasn’t having a serious conversation with the damn soccer ball anymore.

He dropped the ball and kicked it into the net again, thinking as hard as his alcohol-addled mind would allow. He got the ball back again, feeling frustrated as his thoughts conflicted one another. He brought his leg back and kicked as hard as he could. His leg slipped out from under him and he fell flat on his back, mud soaking his clothes.

“That’s mud, isn’t it?” He felt mud make its way under his tee shirt and into his hair. He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. He made no move to get up. “Figures.”

He reached for his cigarettes, pulling them out of his front pocket. He lit one and stared up at the stars. He lifted his head and looked at the soccer net, backlit by moonlight. He sighed and dropped his head back into the mud.

_”What if we get caught?” Justin asked, his voice betraying his actions as he swiftly unbuttoned Brian’s jeans. The brunet smirked and bit down on his earlobe before answering._

_“So what if we do? I want to fuck you now.” He slid Justin’s jeans down enough to display his ass. “Right here, under this net.” He slid two lubed fingers into Justin’s tight ass and watched as the blond writhed against the grass, desperately trying to stay on his hands and knees._

_“I see,” Justin grunted out, thrusting back on Brian’s fingers. “You’ve scored here so many times already. You want to score again.”_

_“In another sense of the word, yes,” Brian told him as he pushed inside his best friend, grunts filling the night air._

_Goal._

Brian let his eyes go in and out of focus, smoke filling his lungs and staining his insides. “That night ruined my favorite pair of jeans. Fucking grass stains.”

He took another drag from his cigarette and thought long and hard about his current situation. He decided that he was far too sober to be thinking about such things. He sat up and grabbed the bottle of Beam, finishing the entire bottle before throwing it in the net with the soccer ball. He fell back into the mud, letting it cake his skin. His thoughts drifted back to Justin as the alcohol took control of his mind once more.

“You know what Spalding?” Brian mumbled around the filter of his cigarette “I’m covered in mud. And it’s all Justin’s fault.” He took the cigarette from between his lips and sat up. “Fuck Justin.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face, realizing a moment too late that those too were covered in the gritty substance. He rolled his eyes and stood up, stomping out his cigarette on his way over to the soccer net.

“Come on Spalding, let’s go talk to the blond demon.”


	12. Something More

**AN:** _Well, my last chapter as Fic of the Month. *wipes tear* This chapter was off somewhere in naughty fic land, avoiding me. But, I've finally written it, and it is long. I hope you all love it. In the last few chapters I've used a lot of lyrics from the song "Nothing Better" by The Postal Service. If there was a soundtrack to this story, this song would be the title track. You can listen to it[here.](http://s6.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=20DLUIO79PXZU2HPQ4CW2XWQ00%20)_

_Shameless Livejournal Plug:[_mournthewicked](http://www.livejournal.com/users/_mournthewicked/)_

**This is not the last chapter!**

* * *

_I can't accept that it's over..._

Brian walked down the street in a stupor; Spalding nestled snugly under his right arm. He knew he was going to Justin’s, but he had no clue why. He had no idea what he wanted to say…or what he wanted in general.

”I will block the door like a goalie tending the net,” he sang softly. The song had been stuck in his head since his confrontation with Justin about his feelings. It wouldn’t go away. “In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry.”

He found himself standing underneath Justin’s window, with still no plan. He sighed and grabbed onto the lattice. He then realized there was no way he could climb to the second story window with the soccer ball under his arm. He hopped back to the ground and set the ball in the grass.

“Sorry, you need to stay here,” he said drunkenly, patting the ball lightly. He looked from the soccer ball and back up to Justin’s window. It was cracked open slightly, as always. It was a climb he’d made a thousand times before, but never while so intoxicated.

**

“Well, that could have gone better,” Jake told Emmett as he dropped his keys on the counter in Emmett’s apartment.

“Yeah, but at least he said something,” Emmett replied, shrugging out of his coat.

“So…your mom isn’t home?”

“Nope,” he told him, shaking his head. “She’s visiting my Aunt Lula in Hazelhurst.”

“I see.”

“So you could, um, stay here,” Emmett said softly. “If you wanted.” Jake looked up at him and smiled. He took a step towards Emmett and wrapped his arms loosely around his waist.

“I’d love to,” he whispered, closing the distance between their lips hesitantly. They smiled against each other’s lips and wrapped their arms around each other tightly.

“Want something to drink?” Emmett asked after the kiss had been broken. His heart was pounding in his chest and he couldn’t keep the grin off of his face. 

“Sure,” Jake replied, his tongue reaching out to touch his lip ring. “Just water would be great.” Emmett nodded and retrieved two bottles from the refrigerator. The two boys plopped down on the couch and sipped from their bottles.

“I can’t believe Brian just walked away after that,” Jake said quietly. “I mean, Justin told us what he said.”

“You need to know Brian. He has the emotional capacity of a blueberry.” Emmett replied. “He doesn’t really like to…feel.” He paused for a moment, tapping the side of his bottle. “You and Justin put on quite a show though.” Jake blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah, guess so.”

“You guys fucked, didn’t you?” Emmett asked, lips turning into a smirk. Jake looked over at Emmett with wide eyes. “You did! I knew it.”

“Okay, yeah. We did.”

“How was it?” Emmett asked, bringing his legs up under his chin. Jake raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re serious?” Jake asked with a laugh. Emmett nodded.

“Everyone knows what Brian is like in bed. But Justin? He’s so cute and sweet. I can’t even imagine what he’s like in bed.”

“Well, he sure wasn’t cute and sweet with me,” Jake replied, laughing as he scratched his temple.

“Justin is a top?” Emmett asked, eyes lighting up.

“If last night was any indication, yes. And damn good at it, too.” They laughed together, the sound filling the air. “You like gossip, don’t you?”

“That’s a given. So, do you have any feelings for Justin?” Emmett asked softly, pretending not to care about the answer.

“At first I thought I could like him,” Jake replied, studying his fingernails. “But I see the way he looks at Brian. And the way he fucked me, it was like he wasn’t even there.” He looked over at Emmett. “He almost said Brian’s name at the end.”

“No shit,” Emmett replied, leaning towards him.

“Yeah, oh well. I don’t regret it. My ass might though. It’s been yelling at me all day.” They both laughed and Jake turned serious again. “I don’t have feelings for Justin, but I really want to be his friend. I really do hope everything works out for those two.”

“Me too,” Emmett replied thoughtfully. He looked over at Jake. “So, are you usually a bottom?”

“Uh,” Jake replied, blushing. “No. I’m usually a top.”

“Well good,” Emmett replied, getting up from the couch. “Because my philosophy is, it just isn’t sex unless there’s something up your butt. So come on, stud. Show me what you got.” Jake laughed and followed Emmett into the bedroom, clothes trailing behind them. 

They fell onto Emmett’s bed in a tangle of limbs, kissing each other furiously. The cool metal piercing Jake’s lip created a wonderful sensation against Emmett’s heated flesh.

“I love this fucking lip ring,” Emmett gushed, crashing his lips down on Jake’s again. Jake laughed into the kiss and slid his tongue down Emmett’s neck, teasingly. Emmett reached over to retrieve a condom and lube from the nightstand. He tore open the condom and rolled it slowly down Jake’s dick, stroking and squeezing until Jake grunted.

The blond took the lube and prepared Emmett swiftly, sucking and biting on his lips as he did so. The taller teen sighed as Jake withdrew his fingers, placing the tip of his cock at Emmett’s eager entrance.

He kissed Emmett roughly as he pushed in slowly, making Emmett cry out from the dual sensations. He pushed back against Jake, swallowing him whole. Soon they both were moving against each other, groaning and grunting against moist skin.

Jake looked down into Emmett’s eyes and he knew that this time…he _meant_ something.

**

“Justin!” Brian called out as he stumbled into the blond’s window. Justin sat up straight, seeing Brian’s silhouette as he tumbled into the room. He hadn’t been asleep at all, choosing to think of the night’s events instead. Justin jumped off his bed and hurried over to the boy. 

Brian stood up before Justin could help him up. The blond squinted, trying to see more than shadows. 

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked, trying not to let his voice show the excitement he felt. 

“I’m here because,” Brian paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts, “because of that noise you make when I bite your neck right below your ear. I hate that fucking noise.” Justin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he crossed his arms over his chest, nodding. “No, I love that fucking noise. That’s the problem.”

“That’s a problem?” Justin asked wearily, a headache forming behind his eyes. He could smell the alcohol from where he was standing.

“Yes, it’s a problem. So are your eyes. And that twitchy thing your left leg does when I rim you.” Justin blushed, looking around the room. He stepped closer, wishing he could see more of Brian than the darkness of his room would allow. 

“And _why_ is that a problem, pray tell?”

“ _Because_ ,” Brian drawled, dragging the word out as if Justin were a child. “When you do that shit, it’s so fucking hard _not_ to want you.” Justin grinned and took another step closer, placing his hand on Brian’s shoulder. 

“What the fuck is all over you?” Justin asked calmly. “Is that mud?” Brian looked down at Justin’s hand on his shoulder, face twisted in confusion. 

“Oh. Yeah,” he replied, shaking out his muddy hair. “That’s all your fault, too.” Justin shook his head in disbelief. 

“Why are you covered in mud?” He inquired. “And please tell me how it’s _my_ fault.”

“ _Because_ ,” he told him, dragging the word out again, “you made me frustrated and I kicked Spalding in the head way too fucking hard and I fell.”

“Okie dokie then,” Justin replied. He was far too used to Brian’s drunken ramblings. “One question.”

“Hmm?” Brian asked, putting his hand on the wall to keep his balance.

“Who the fuck is Spalding?” Justin asked, wiping his hand on his boxers.

“Spalding! Tom Hanks had Wilson. I have Spalding. But I wouldn’t just let him float away. Oh no. I’d swim to hell and back for that little fucker.” Justin just stared at the silhouette of Brian, face twisted in confusion. “Spalding is my new best friend.”

“You’ve replaced me with a volleyball?” Justin asked, almost laughing.

“Of course I didn’t replace you with a volleyball!” Brian replied hotly. “Spalding is a _soccer_ ball.” He nodded and looked around the room. Justin could see the moon reflecting off of his eyes. “Remember when we had sex in the soccer goal? Good times.” 

The look on Justin’s face was priceless. It was mixture between horror, pity, and confusion. 

“Okay, yeah. Here’s what we’re going do to. You’re going to go take a shower.” Justin led the very muddy Brian towards his bathroom. “And if you got mud on my carpet, I’m going to fucking _castrate_ you.” 

“Kay.” He got Brian into the bathroom and flipped on the light. He turned back towards Brian and almost laughed at what he saw. He was covered in mud, head to toe. He brought his hand over his mouth. 

_”I won!” An eight year old Brian called, running at top speed towards a wide eyed Justin._

_“That’s great!” Justin cried, stepping backwards. Brian was covered in mud, only his mouth and eyes free of the substance. “I’m really happy for you! Yaye soccer! Just don’t…” He was cut off by Brian engulfing him in a big victory hug, mud transferring to Justin’s clean clothes and blond hair, “…touch me.”_

“Okay, get in the shower.” Brian plopped down on the toilet seat and Justin grabbed his arms and pulled him up before he got mud on anything else. He reached over and turned on the cold water, leaving the shower door open. “Brian, get undressed.”

“Why Justin, I had no idea,” Brian drawled, taking a step towards Justin. “Well, yeah, actually I did.”

“Charming,” Justin replied, “now get the fuck in the shower.” Brian took another step towards him and he grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. “Brian, you need to knock this shit off. You’re seventeen fucking years old. You can’t keep doing this. Now get the _fuck_ in that shower.” 

He pushed Brian under the unforgiving icy spray, clothes and all. He closed the shower door and exited the bathroom, slamming the door with a resounding thud.

The shock of the cold water and the slam of the door broke Brian from his trance. He looked down at the drain, watching as brown streaks of dirt and grime made their way down the drain. He pulled his shirt off, sticky and heavy with water and mud. He let it fall to the tile with a sickening squelch. He unbuttoned his jeans and rolled the wet denim off of his lean legs, kicking them into the corner of the shower stall. In his drunken state, he stumbled and fell into the wall.

He pressed his forehead against the wall under the showerhead, the cold water cutting into his back like frozen needles. 

His mind slowly cleared as his body shook and his teeth chattered. The water had long gone clear, all the mud washed from his skin.

He pulled his forehead away from the cool tile and turned around, letting his back slide along the tile. The cold water stung his skin, but he did nothing to remedy the situation. 

He slid his hands into his hair as his ass made contact with the tile floor. His head throbbed and his chest ached.

He felt like he was slowly losing Justin. He knew that the longer he kept up this charade, the more Justin would fade from the routine he was so accustomed to. Jake would become a familiarity in their lives, a constant reminder of his stupidity.

Justin would be happy. He, on the other hand, would be miserable.

Why would Justin bring Jake into Babylon and prance him around in front of him? Why would he make him look like a fool? Why would he dance with him like they used to, like everything was all right?

Brian stood up and turned off the water, pushing the shower door open. He wrapped a towel around his waist and stormed into Justin’s bedroom, fire in his eyes.

The blond was sitting on his bed, a sketchbook propped up on his knees like a makeshift easel. He looked up as Brian entered the room, blond hair falling in cornflower blue eyes. He shook the veil of soft hair out of the way and furrowed his brows, trying not to look at the way the water rolled down Brian’s body.

“Feel better?” Justin asked, eyes narrowing at his best friend, examining him for traces of mud. 

“What the fuck was tonight all about?” Brian asked, one fist clutching at his towel, eyes locked angrily on Justin. The blond’s eyes widened in surprise. 

Brian’s moods fluctuated more than those of a menstrual teenage girl.

“Excuse me?” Justin asked, closing his sketchbook and setting it on the nightstand. He sat up on the bed, back rigid. His jaw clenched, preparing for battle.

Brian let go of his towel and it slide low on his hips. Water dripped from his body and onto Justin’s carpet as he moved closer to the bed. He licked his lips and then met Justin’s stare head on.

“Tonight. You prancing around with Jake. Were you just _trying_ to piss me off?”

“What? No,” Justin lied, getting up off of the bed to make himself appear taller, stronger. They stood two feet apart, and Justin cursed Brian’s height mentally.

“Why were you with Jake?” Brian asked again. His eyes were dark, almost black with pain and anger. 

“What the fuck does it matter? You sleep with a hundred guys and I don’t say shit. But I show up with _one_ guy, and you go postal.”

“It’s different,” Brian replied, scratching behind his ear in a futile attempt to look anywhere other than Justin’s eyes.

“Explain that to me, please.” Justin crossed his arms over his chest and Brian idly wondered how so much fire came out of someone so small.

“To you, sex means something. To me, it means nothing. It’s about the pleasure, and that’s it.” 

“So all those times you fucked me, it meant nothing,” Justin replied, his disposition slipping a little. “It was just for pleasure.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Brian argued, voice rising. Justin once again was thankful that his parents were never home, and that Molly made a point to find somewhere else to stay every night. 

“Then what do you mean?” Justin sneered, taking a step closer to Brian in a moment of bravery.

“You don’t love him, Justin!” Brian replied, avoiding Justin’s question. He knew the answer just as much as he didn’t want to admit it.

“Who says I don’t?” Justin replied, chin rising and eyes smug.

“You love me,” Brian told him in a weak voice.

“Maybe I don’t anymore,” Justin replied weakly, eyes trained on Brian’s bare feet. “Maybe I moved on.” Brian’s heart stung, but he refused to let his emotions show through. He narrowed his eyes and swallowed, ready to break out the big guns.

“Oh so what,” he bellowed. “I said I didn’t feel the same way as you so you just put out for the first piece of ass that came along?” 

Justin’s face fell. He looked like he had been slapped. Tears welled in his eyes and he bit his lower lip in frustration and anger.

“Is that it, Justin?” Brian roared again.

“Fuck you!” He screamed, bringing his hand up and slapping Brian across the face in anger and frustration. Brian’s mouth fell open in shock and outrage. He saw the tears flowing down Justin’s cheek and knew he had deserved it. They stared at each other for a long while, neither budging. Justin blinked away a new set of tears and Brian grabbed his shoulders and kissed him, thrusting his tongue into Justin’s mouth.

Justin responded for only a second before pulling away, pushing Brian back. He shook his head and licked his lips, looking into Brian’s eyes angrily.

“Fuck you,” Justin whispered. “Fuck you for thinking you could kiss it all better. You can’t fuck this away, Brian, you fucking asshole.” The brunet stood there, taking all Justin had to dish out. The blond’s chest rose and fell, breath heavy from anger. He curled his right hand, the hand he had slapped Brian with, into a fist and let it bounce against his hip. For a moment, Brian braced himself for a punch. Justin did deliver that punch, right in the middle of Brian’s chest. The brunet didn’t say a word, didn’t move.

“I hate you, Brian,” Justin continued, looking at Brian’s chest as he slammed his fists against it. “I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the power you have over me. I hate the things you do to me.” His fists landed on his chest again and Brian winced. Brian’s eyes welled up with tears at this point, and he looked down, letting his wet hair cover his eyes. “I hate you.” He continued beating on Brian’s chest, sobs escaping his lips. Brian grabbed Justin’s arms, trying to protect himself from further punches.

“Justin.” The blond twisted out of his grasp and threw his fists against Brian’s chest once more. “Justin, stop!”

“No!” He raised his hands and Brian grabbed them, looking into Justin’s eyes. His hands moved up to Justin’s face, his fingers threading in the blond hair behind Justin’s ears, tugging on it. His fists landed on his chest once more before Brian pulled Justin in, kissing him again.

This time, Justin didn’t pull away.

They kissed ferociously, intensely. Justin brought his hands up into Brian’s wet hair and yanked his head back roughly. Brian gasped and Justin leaned in, biting and sucking the taller boy’s neck. He bit down on Brian’s chin and Brian vaguely wondered how Justin had taken such control of the situation so quickly.

Brian felt the wet towel yanked from his body and somehow he knew he wasn’t getting that control back. He felt his cock harden from Justin’s actions. The blond spun him around and bent him over his desk harshly. Brian’s threw his hands out to catch himself on the desk, sending pens and pencils scattering to the floor. Justin slid his hand into Brian’s hair and pressed his face against the desk. He stayed there, knees slightly bent and legs spread wide, his cheek pressing against the cool wood.

He heard the tear of a condom wrapper and a tube of lube snap open. He raised his ass, a slutty reaction to the sounds.

“I’m going to fuck you,” he heard Justin say in a deep raspy voice. Brian swallowed hard, giving no argument. Justin needed this, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t want it. He waited to feel Justin’s fingers prepare him, but instead he felt Justin’s thick, lube coated cock press into his tight hole in one swift stroke. Brian cried out against the intrusion, feeling the intense burn Justin’s dick created. Justin didn’t stop pushing in until Brian heard the slap of his balls against his ass.

“Fuck!” Brian cried out, fingers curling up, crumpling stray pieces of paper. Justin brought his hand down in a rough slap on Brian’s ass and the taller boy hissed, clawing at the desk. He had never seen this side of Justin, and he wasn’t sure how to react. But, if the way his achingly hard cock was dripping was any indication, he fucking loved it.

Justin pulled all the way out, leaving Brian’s ass completely. The brunet groaned, and then thrust back wantonly. Justin held his dick in his hand, sliding the head up and down Brian’s crack, circling around his tight pucker. Brian whimpered and thrust back again, but another slap to his ass and Justin’s fingers rough in his hair quickly told him that wasn’t allowed. 

He wanted to scream. He wanted to beg, but he bit down on his lip instead as Justin continued to torture him. Then, without warning, Justin slapped his ass again at the same moment to he slid back into Brian’s waiting hole. Brian cried out again, amazed at the sounds coming from his throat. Justin growled and began to move in and out of Brian hard and fast, without mercy on Brian’s inexperienced ass. 

His eyes stung and his ass burned as Justin slammed into him, making the desk lurch forward with a squeak. More random items were sent clattering to the floor.

“You’re _mine_ , Brian Kinney,” Justin growled again, pulling at Brian’s damp hair. The brunet swallowed hard, unable to form words. He felt Justin’s lips on the back on his shoulders, his teeth on his neck. The blond sucked and bit as he thrust wildly, leaving a deep purple mark on Brian’s tan skin. “You’re fucking mine.”

Brian didn’t know who Justin was trying to convince with that statement. He had been Justin’s a long time ago. He just hadn’t realized it.

Brian reached back and put his hand on Justin’s hip, pushing back to meet his harsh thrusts. He heard strangled sounds emanating from Justin as his cock was pressed firmly against the desk. Brian struggled to stay up on his arms as Justin pounded into him relentlessly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Brian breathed. Justin reached around and fisted Brian’s cock, stroking up and down in time with his furious thrusts. Brian came with a loud groan, splattering Justin’s desk with his cum.

Justin came shortly after, pulling Brian’s hair hard as he did so. Justin gasped and fell over Brian, keeping himself upright by placing his hands on either side of Brian’s hips. They both struggled to regain their breathing, blinking away the spots of black and purple dancing in front of their eyes.

Brian wanted to stand up. His knees were aching, but Justin had him effectively trapped between his arms. Then, as if Justin could read his mind, one arm went up. He heard a sniffle, and then Justin pulled out of him slowly. His other arm went up, and he took a step back from Brian. The brunet stood up slowly, stretching the muscles in his legs. He turned around and faltered when he saw that there were still tears in Justin’s eyes.

He took a step towards Justin and wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist. He brought one hand up and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He kissed Justin’s lips softly. Justin stared into his eyes, sniffling again.

“I don’t hate you,” Justin said, barely above a whisper. Brian smiled softly.

“I know,” he replied, kissing Justin once more, a chaste brush of their lips. Brian felt wetness on his cheeks and he didn’t know if they were his tears or Justin’s. He kissed Justin again and pulled him tight against his body.

“Why is this so hard?” Justin whispered against his neck. Brian closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, his hand traveling down Justin’s bare back.

“I don’t know,” Brian replied honestly. Justin lifted his head and they looked into each other’s eyes, searching for a resolution.

“You’re mine,” Justin whispered again, this time in a gentle voice. Brian gently pushed him backward so that they were moving towards Justin’s bed. He nodded slightly at Justin’s comment. “I want you to be mine,” he whimpered again as he let himself be pushed back against the bed. Brian climbed on top of him and looked into his eyes.

“Yours,” Brian breathed, surprising even him. Justin smiled and Brian leaned down to kiss him, wiping the last of their tears away with gentle fingers. Their bodies melted together as they kissed. Brian’s tongue made its way between Justin’s lips softly. Their kiss was complete opposite to the one they shared earlier. Now, their actions were soft and gentle.

“I don’t hate you at all,” Justin whispered, fingers curling into the hair framing Brian’s face. “I’m sorry I said that. I’m sorry I hit you.”

“Justin,” Brian replied. “Shh.” Brian smirked and the blond grinned. The taller boy rested his forehead against Justin’s, staring into his eyes until he felt his cock harden again, begging for attention. 

He kissed Justin softly as he reached for a condom and lube. He rolled the condom down his own cock and prepared Justin carefully. He positioned himself over Justin and the blond bit his lip as Brian entered him.

This time, they moved slowly, matching each gentle thrust. The sighed and whimpered and damned if Justin didn’t cry again, but this time they weren’t tears of despair. 

Justin closed his eyes when he came, Brian’s name on his lips. The brunet placed his hand on Justin’s cheek and came as well, grunting loudly as his orgasm ripped through him.

Brian slipped from Justin’s ass and the blond let his legs fall from Brian’s waist to the bed. They stayed tangled together, swapping long, languid kisses.

The sun had just started to rise when they locked eyes once more.

“ _Mine_ ,” Justin whispered again, running his fingertips along Brian’s cheek. Brian smiled and moved his face to the side to kiss Justin’s fingertips.

“ _Yours._ ”


	13. Something More

**AN** : _This chapter is dedicated to Kami, because she is awesome and stayed up until the wee hours to keep me company and provide input as I wrote. You know the drill, read and review! =D_

* * *

Brian’s eyes slid half open, and instantly slammed shut. His skin was damp with sweat and his body felt heavy. His eyes slid open again and he groaned.

He had never been so hung over in his life.

His chest hurt.

And his ass fucking _burned._

“Morning!” Came a voice so cheery that Brian scowled. He lifted his head slightly and saw Justin’s eyes watching him, hair tangled and messy. His smile was soft, tired, and content. Brian smiled in spite of himself for a moment. He brought his hand up and placed it on Justin’s cheek. The blond leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. Brian ran his hand down Justin’s neck and to his shoulder, and then pushed the smaller boy off of him.

“Get away from me,” Brian growled. Justin’s mouth fell open and he looked hurt. Brian rolled his eyes and quickly amended himself. “Do you have any _idea_ how much my ass hurts?”

“Oh,” Justin replied with a giggle. “Well, roll over.” Brian scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. The tan skin was dotted with purple bruises that Brian had yet to notice but Justin had spent all morning feeling insanely guilty over. He had pressed several open mouthed kisses to the bruises when he knew Brian wouldn’t wake up.

“Yeah right. You’re never getting anywhere near my ass again. _Ever._ ” Brian replied, shaking his head for affect. Justin smiled, leaning over to kiss Brian’s lips tenderly. Justin stayed within an inch of the taller boy’s face, their noses touching.

“Roll over,” Justin whispered again. Brian felt his hot breath on his lips, his cock responding to the sultry tone.

“No. You had your big brutal top time with my ass last night. There’s no way I’m letting you fuck me again,” Brian told him. His tongue flicked out and wet his lips before he added, “so soon.” They kissed again, both of them keeping their eyes wide open.

“Roll _over_ ,” Justin said again with more conviction, pulling on Brian’s shoulder. He rolled his eyes and complied once Justin added, “I promise you won’t regret it.”

Brian got comfortable on his stomach and wrapped his arms around the pillow under his head. Justin smoothed his hands down Brian’s smooth back, his fingertips tracing the soft bite marks he had left on his shoulder blades the previous night. He leaned down and ran his tongue over Brian’s soft skin, pressing his lips against his spine wetly. He worked his way down Brian’s back, massaging his tense muscles with nimble artist’s fingers. Once he reached the swell of Brian’s ass he felt the taller boy tense slightly, and then relax almost immediately. 

Justin squeezed the small, yet impressive globes of Brian’s ass, massaging them before gently pulling them apart and licking softly down his crack. Brian sighed as Justin softly ran his wet, broad tongue over the slightly inflamed hole. Justin held his cheeks apart with his thumbs, his fingers absently kneading soft flesh. He blew softly on Brian’s hole, making his spit grow cold and soothing on the inflamed skin. Brian sighed deeply, spreading his legs wider.

Justin’s tongue returned to Brian’s hole hungrily yet softly, gently lapping and prodding. Brian groaned and lifted his head, eyes closed to concentrate on nothing but the pleasure. His mouth hung open, lips wet with spit.

Brian slid up onto his hands and knees as Justin’s tongue became more eager. Justin moved to accommodate the new position, his slippery tongue never leaving the willing orifice. Justin’s hands slid up Brian’s thighs and onto his hips, tracing the lines of his slim hipbones. He sucked greedily on the soft folds, his cock growing harder as he tasted more and as Brian’s grunts became louder and more unrestrained.

“Fuck,” Brian gasped, rocking back to feed more of himself to Justin. The blonde slipped his tongue in and out in a steady rhythm, eyelids fluttering from the exquisite taste and pleasure he got from this action. “Justin,” Brian grunted again, his hard cock dripping on the bed sheets below.

Justin’s fingers slid lightly along Brian’s dick, his forefinger sliding across the slit before pressing against it. His own cock touched his stomach as he leaned over, feasting on Brian’s ass. He tasted like bitter chocolate and smelled like addiction. Justin couldn’t get enough.

“Fuck Justin, I want to cum,” Brian gasped, twisting the sheets in his fists. Justin’s wrapped his fingers around Brian’s cock and starting pumping vigorously. He was torn. He couldn’t decide if he wanted Brian to cum with his tongue in Brian’s ass or Brian’s cock on his tongue.

In a split second decision, Justin grabbed Brian’s hips and flipped him over onto his back, swallowing his cock to the root. Brian cried out, hips arching upwards as he came, flooding Justin’s throat with the milky substance. The blond drank it greedily, sucking him dry. The tip of his tongue dug into his slit, making Brian’s hip twitch. Justin’s lips released Brian’s cock with a quiet pop, and he licked his lips approvingly before looking down at Brian. His eyes were closed and he was breathing hard, mouth open and lips wet. Justin leaned down and slid his tongue along Brian’s bottom lip before thrusting it into his mouth. Brian sucked on the on the offered tongue, eager to taste himself and Justin. 

The blond rolled over onto his back beside Brian, basking in the sunlight flooding through his open window. Brian appeared to be satiated, at least for the moment. Justin, on the other hand, was still rock hard. His hand traveled down his bare stomach and wrapped around his cock, stroking himself. 

Brian was broken from his post orgasmic haze by Justin’s grunts. He looked down, watching Justin stroke himself. The sight of the pale hand moving up and down the red shaft transfixed him. He was torn between wanting to bring Justin off himself and watching him do it. He rolled onto his side and ran his hand along Justin’s stomach and over his hip, watching closely. His lips were so close to Justin’s ear that the blond could feel his hot breath. Brian’s eyes were dark, glued to Justin’s hand pumping his dick.

“Do you know how slutty you look right now?” Brian asked in a low, throaty tone. Justin’s breath hitched and he pumped faster. “Jacking off for me to see. It’s hot.” Brian bit down on Justin’s earlobe before returning his gaze to his dick. His hand ran up Justin’s chest and began tweaking his nipples, pinching and tugging hard. “Cum for me,” Brian breathed into Justin’s ear before sliding the tip of his tongue in it. Justin let his mouth fall open and pumped faster, unable to form words.

Brian’s eyes returned to his crotch. His hand slid from his nipples and cupped Justin’s balls, rolling them between his thumb and fingers. They tightened and Justin’s left hip jerked before he came with a loud groan, splattering his pale stomach with paler cum. Brian smiled devilishly, feeling his cock grow hard again. He kissed Justin’s temple and pressed his lips back against his ear. “Good boy.”

Justin’s’ head turned and he caught Brian’s lips with his own, the two naked bodies fusing together. They grinded against each other and made out like the horny, insatiable teens that they were. Brian pulled away, breathless. He grabbed a condom and bumped his forehead against Justin’s.

“Now it’s _your_ turn to roll over.”

Justin readily complied.

**

An hour later, the boys were still lying in Justin’s bed, passing a cigarette back and forth. Justin’s leg was slung over Brian’s calf, needing to keep contact. Justin was still afraid he would open his eyes and he would be all alone. He looked over at Brian as he took a drag from the cigarette. Hair was matted to his temple, sweat glistening on his tan skin.

“Brian?” Justin asked. The brunet closed his eyes as he heard the tone of his voice. He knew they were about to discuss things. They were about to have what Brian was not looking forward to, The Talk.

“Yes?” He replied, extinguishing the cigarette in the ashtray cleverly disguised as a soda can on Justin’s nightstand before turning to face him.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I need to.” Brian repressed the urge to sigh, and nodded slightly. “I need to know where we are, _what_ we are. I want to know where we stand.”

Brian looked into Justin’s eyes with an intense gaze. His blue eyes looked so large, so hopeful, that Brian smiled softly. He brought his hand up to Justin’s face, clutching the blond locks falling onto his face before sliding his large fingers along his cheek. He bit his lip, searching for something to say.

“You know by now how I feel, Justin,” Brian replied, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. “I want you.”

“But what do you want me to be?” Justin asked softly, placing his hand on top of Brian’s. The brunet’s eyes sparkled slightly.

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Brian joked, sliding his hand around to Justin’s waist and pulling him flush against him. The blond nodded, beaming.

“You can at least give me that much,” Justin teased. Brian smirked, his tongue finding the inside of his cheek.

“I want to be with you, so…whatever that entails.” Brian told him, sliding his hand up and down Justin’s back.

“I want to be your boyfriend,” Justin said boldly. Brian rolled his eyes at the word. Justin bit his lip and slid his fingers up into Brian’s hair.

“I don’t think I would make a very good boyfriend, Justin.” He felt that was true, and his eyes shifted to the pillow below Justin’s head.

“Well, I think you will. We could at least give it a shot,” Justin replied hopefully. Brian’s eyes moved back to Justin’s, meeting his gaze. He stared for a moment, and then nodded.

“Fine, we can give it a shot.” Justin’s small smile widened into a grin and he kissed Brian deeply, wrapping his arms tighter around his lean body. After a few minutes, Brian pulled away.

“What?” Justin asked.

“What about Jake?” Brian replied, his eyes narrowing at the name. Justin looked confused for a moment.

“What about him?” Justin countered. Brian raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you two were a thing,” Brian said icily. Justin’s eyes widened, and then he laughed, pushing at Brian’s chest. 

“There’s nothing between me and Jake,” Justin informed him.

“Didn’t look like that last night,” Brian retorted. 

“That was all a show for you,” Justin said tactlessly. Brian pulled further back.

“A _show_?” The brunet replied, running his hand through his hair and sitting up. “So, you tricked me.” 

“What?” Justin asked, sitting up. “No, we didn’t trick you.” Brian looked over at him, raising an eyebrow. “Okay fine, we tricked you. But aren’t you glad? Look what came of it. We’re together now.” Justin put his hand on Brian’s shoulder and squeezed, smiling playfully. Brian stared at him, his gaze eventually softening.

“Fine, I’ll just take it out on your ass,” Brian replied, smirking.

“Is this punishment?” Justin asked. Brian nodded. “Okay then.” The brunet smirked and looked down. It was then he finally noticed the bruises on his chest. His eyes widened and he ran his fingers over them.

“Fuck Justin,” Brian exclaimed, looking over at him. Justin’s expression was one of guilt and regret.

“I’m so sorry,” Justin replied. His eyes widened and his bottom lip stuck out, making Brian laugh.

“It’s okay,” he replied. “You pack quite a punch for a fag.” The blond rolled his eyes and pushed him playfully. Brian pushed him back, and then pushed him down onto his back on the bed, straddling his hips. Justin reached up and tickled Brian’s sides hard, making the taller teen emanate what could only be called a giggle. 

“Did you just giggle?” Justin asked with a grin, his hands still clutching Brian’s sides. The brunet huffed indignantly.

“Fuck no,” Brian replied. Justin laughed and tickled him again. Brian grabbed his hands and pinned them on the bed over his head. He kissed Justin softly and pressed his forehead against the smaller boy’s.

“You _did_ giggle,” Justin said seriously, but there was a smile in his eyes.

“Shut up,” Brian told him, and Justin did, kissing him again.

Awhile later, Brian’s head popped up and his eyes widened, scanning the room. “Justin?” Brian asked frantically. The blond raised his eyebrows sleepily. “Where the fuck is Spalding?”

“What?” Justin asked, sitting up.

“ _Spalding._ The soccer ball. _My_ soccer ball.” Brian got out of bed and crossed the room naked. He stuck his head out the window and looked down. “Oh, it’s down there.” He walked into the bathroom and then out again. “Fuck, my clothes are still all wet and muddy.”

“Brian…” Justin said softly, face twisted in confusion. “I thought Spalding was just a drunk thing?” Brian stopped and stared at him.

“Well, he is, I guess. But I don’t know. Okay fine, I have an unhealthy relationship with an inanimate object. Do I have any clothes here?” Justin just shook his head and pointed.

“Of course, you only live here. Bottom drawer,” Justin replied. Brian pulled a pair of pajama pants out and put them on. Justin sighed as his view of some very wonderful parts of Brian’s anatomy was obstructed. Brian padded over to the window and lifted his leg over the side of it. “Are you seriously going to go get the ball?” Justin asked incredulously. 

“Yes.” And with that, Brian was out the window. Justin laughed and fell back onto the bed. “Justin!” He heard Brian call. He heaved himself off of the bed and stuck his head out of the window. “Catch.” Brian threw the soccer ball up and Justin leaned out of the window and caught it. He watched Brian climb back up, the sun glistening on his muscles.

He moved out of the way and let Brian back in. The taller boy took the ball and set it down on the desk. Justin sat back down and looked Brian up and down.

“What?” Brian asked.

“Those pants look terrible on you,” Justin deadpanned. “I think you should take them off.” Brian laughed and kicked his pants off as he crawled back into bed.

“You know, we need to get out of bed at some point today,” Brian said. Justin wrapped his arms and legs around Brian. 

“Who says?” The brunet laughed and retrieved a condom from the bedside table. Justin moaned as Brian slid two fingers into his ass, without lube. Justin pressed back against Brian’s fingers and then looked over his shoulder. His head dropped back onto the bed. “We can’t do this Brian.”

“Huh?” Brian asked, pulling away.

“That fucking ball is staring at us.”


	14. Something More

**AN** : _I love you all!_

* * *

_I’ve found the cure to growing older  
And you’re the only place that feels like home_

 

“Justin? Sweetie? Honey _bun_?” Brian said sarcastically to the sleeping blond.

“What the fuck?” Justin mumbled, his eyes refusing to open.

“Justin. Get the fuck off of my arm. It’s asleep.”

“Oh, sorry.” Justin rolled off of Brian’s right arm, and the brunet shook it, trying to regain feeling.

“Are you going to wake up anytime soon? I’m bored,” Brian told him. Justin rolled over, the last remnants of sunshine assaulting his eyes.

“Are you going to stop fucking me into oblivion anytime soon?” Justin retorted. “Because as pleasurable as it may be, it’s fucking exhausting.” Brian slapped his ass. “Ow.”

“You can’t sleep away our first official day of coupledom.” Justin’s lips spread into a wide grin. Brian blinked and stared at him, but the smile did not stop. “What?”

“You said couple,” Justin replied, leaning over to kiss the brunet. Brian blew a raspberry against his lips. “Ew.” Brian rolled over and pinned Justin to the bed.

“Yes, I said couple. Now I think my _boyfriend_ should go whip us up some of his famous sandwiches, because I’m hungry,” Brian smirked. Justin beamed.

“My _famous_ sandwiches consist of bread, mayo, mustard, and meat. That’s it.”

“I know. On mine, hold the-“

“Mayo. Got it. Be right back.” He kissed Brian softly and rolled out of bed. Brian watched him leave before heaving himself back on the bed with a sigh.

Couple. Boyfriend. _Love._

What did it all mean, really?

Sure, he loved being with Justin. He loved fucking Justin, holding Justin, breathing, speaking, _living_ Justin.

And yeah, he _loved_ Justin.

But would it last forever? Would it end? Would they grow old together? Would they break up and hate each other?

What would he do if he ever, _ever_ , lost Justin?

He didn’t want to ever find out. So, he would take what he was not so gracefully given. He would hold onto Justin’s heart and pray to whothefuck _ever_ that he wouldn’t fuck it up.

_I think I’ll try defying gravity_  
Kiss me goodbye  
I’m defying gravity  
And you can’t bring me down 

Brian sat up, seeing Justin’s phone on the nightstand. He leaned over and plucked it off the drawings it was resting on and glanced at the display. _Emmett_. He flicked the phone open and brought it to his ear.

“Hey Em,” Brian answered cheerily.

_”Jus, hey. This is Jake.”_ Brian’s eyes narrowed and his smile turned into a scowl. Sure, it had all been a show. But that didn’t mean he had to _like_ the guy that had been all over his best friend, boyfriend, _whatever_ the night before.

“Jake. This is Brian.” There was a pause.

_”Brian? …Oh. Um, hi.”_

“Hello.”

_”Um, is Justin around?”_

“No, he’s downstairs.” Brian paused, shaking his head. “Why are you with Emmett?” 

_”Uh, well.”_ He was saved from answering by Justin walking in the door, two sandwiches and a can of soda balanced on a plate. Brian thrust the phone out.

“Jake,” he said shortly, waving the phone back and forth. Justin scrunched his eyebrows together in a way that would have been adorable if Brian wasn’t so preoccupied with wondering what the fuck lip ring boy had to say to his boyfriend. 

Justin set the plate down and wiped his hand on his still naked hip before taking the phone.

“Hello?”

_”Justin. Hey. Brian intimidates the fuck out of me, dude.”_ Justin laughed loudly and sat down on the bed.

“Oh please. He’s a big pussycat.” Brian’s eyes narrowed. ‘A _pussycat_? He better take that shit back.’

_”So what happened? Did it work?”_ Justin looked over his shoulder at Brian and smiled.

“Oh, it worked.” 

_”Awesome. I’m glad. Did you tell him about us, the plan?”_

“Yup,” Justin replied. He fell back, landing on his back next to Brian. The brunet raised his eyebrow.

_”You guys meet me and Emmett at the diner at nine.”_

“Okay. Wait. Why are you with Emmett?” Justin asked. Brian leaned over and starting pressing wet kisses to Justin’s stomach. He would get Justin off of the phone one way or another.

_“Let’s just say you aren’t the only one that scored last night.”_ Justin laughed. Brian buried his nose in Justin’s pubes and the blond played with Brian’s hair absently. Brian sighed and rolled his eyes.

“No way. You sly dog, you.” Justin laughed louder and Brian swallowed his cock mid giggle. Justin almost choked on his gasp, his dick instantly getting hard in the hot, wet recesses of Brian’s mouth.

_”Yeah, it’s great. So you guys will be at the diner at nine, then?”_ Justin looked down as Brian’s lips slid up and down his shaft, sucking hard.

“…Yeah. Diner. Nine.” He bit his lip and closed his eyes against the pleasure. Brian shoved two fingers up his ass and his hips jerked up. “Got it.”

_“I’m really happy for you.”_ Brian pressed his fingertips against Justin’s prostate and deep throated him.

God damn.

“Guh.” Justin swallowed hard. “Oh god.”

_”Justin? Are you oka-“_

“Yeah Jake I need to go bye,” he let out in one quick breath. He hung up the phone and threw it aside, both hands going into Brian’s hair. The brunet released Justin’s dick from his mouth and looked up.

“So what did Jakey have to say?” Brian teased. Justin’s eyes widened. Brian wiggled his fingers.

“What? Brian, please.”

“Please what?” He pressed his fingers against Justin’s prostate again.

“Fuck Brian, we’re meeting them at the diner at nine. Now if you don’t suck me off I’m going to cry.”

“We wouldn’t want that,” Brian laughed, taking Justin’s cock back into his mouth.

**

_I keep my jealousy close  
‘Cause it’s all mine_

“So we’ve been going out for like two seconds and we’re already going on double dates?” Brian griped, shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat as they walked down Liberty Avenue.

“Stop bitching.” Justin stuck his hand in Brian’s pocket, holding his hand as they walked. 

Brian was barely able to hide his smile.

When they entered the diner, Emmett and Jake were looking awfully cozy in the back booth. The two boys strolled over, and Brian let Justin in before sitting down himself.

“Well aren’t you two cute?” Justin asked. He leaned over and rested his cheek on Brian’s shoulder once the brunet had gotten his coat off.

“So what, now you guys are a couple?” Brian asked, sliding his hand up the back of Justin’s shirt.

“Well,” Emmett started, “it wouldn’t be Pittsburgh unless everyone fucked everyone that everybody else has already fucked.” He laughed, clasping his hands together.

“What?” Brian asked, his face falling.

“Justin gave little Jakey here quite a sore ass,” Emmett laughed again, oblivious that he had just informed Brian something that he hadn’t previously known. Brian felt like he was in an elevator. There was a lurch, and then the cables broke. “Ow!”

Justin had kicked Emmett under the table. Brian looked over at him, and he turned crimson. Jake stared straight ahead; afraid Brian was going to punch him.

“You fucked him?” Brian asked. His voice was more sad than angry, and that made Justin feel even worse. He sighed deeply.

“Yeah.” Brian’s eyes grew darker.

“You said it was all a game. A _show._ That there was nothing between you.” Justin looked up at him, biting his bottom lip.

“There isn’t anything between us. We just fucked. Once. It didn’t mean anything.” Jake nodded, afraid to do anything else. Brian didn’t see him. 

“Fuck,” Emmett gasped. “I’m sorry, Jake said you told him.”

“Yeah, I didn’t tell him that part,” Justin replied. 

“I can’t fucking believe this.” Brian shook his head and slid out of the booth quickly, heading wordlessly for the door. Justin lifted his hand, and then covered his face with both of his hands, slumping back into the booth.

He was so sick of chasing Brian.

Jake slid out of the booth and ran after Brian. Emmett covered his eyes with his hand, wishing he would just drop dead.

**

_I’m such a sucker  
And I’m always the last to know_

 

“Brian!” Jake called, jogging to catch up with the tall brunet. He was going to get his ass kicked for sure, but at that moment, he didn’t really care. “Wait!”

Brian shook his head and kept walking. He didn’t know why he was so jealous. They weren’t technically together at the time, and he had fucked someone too. But jealous he was, striding down a snow dusted Liberty Avenue with no jacket.

“Brian, god dammit. Wait!” Jake grabbed his shoulder. Brian whipped around and Jake braced himself for a beating, but one was not forthcoming.

“What the fuck do you want?” Brian growled. Jake flinched. “I’m not going to fucking hit you, Jake. Is that what you think of me?” The blond visibly relaxed. He sighed, and looked up at Brian.

“Truth be told, I don’t know you very well. And the times I have been around you, you weren’t exactly Mr. Happy.” Brian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Point taken.”

“What happened between me and Justin meant nothing.” Brian raised an eyebrow, not saying a word. Jake sighed and his tongue poked out to fiddle with his lip ring nervously. Brian narrowed his eyes at the shiny metal. “He only has eyes for _you_ , Mr. Kinney.” Brian scoffed. “I was a distraction. I was pain management. I was a release. I’m sure _you_ of all people understand that.” There was no malice in that statement, just a plea to make him understand.

Brian sighed, a deep forced sigh that flared his nostrils. He looked down for a moment before letting his eyes flick up to Jake’s green eyes. “Yes, I know what it’s like,” he finally said, dropping his arms and defensive posture. Jake beamed.

“You know he said your name when he came. I might as well not have even been there,” Jake laughed. Brian smiled a little. “So you’re not mad at him then?”

“Not mad. Just frustrated,” he replied.

“Why?” Jake asked, tilting his head to one side. Brian was silent for a long moment, deep in thought.

“I hate elevators,” Brian said suddenly. Jake raised one eyebrow, wrapping his arms around himself for warmth. His jacket had been abandoned in the diner.

“Okay then,” Jake replied, dragging his toe back and forth along the sidewalk. People walked around them in swift paces, heading for warmth. Jake wished he were one of them, but for some reason, he felt this was going to turn into something monumentally important.

“No seriously, I hate them. I hate going on them,” Brian said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans and rolling back on the balls of his feet. His nose was freezing, but still they did not relocate.

“I believe you, but what does that have to do with anything?” Jake inquired, reaching up to rub his frozen nose. He was not adapting to these frozen conditions well. He missed the California sun. He slightly drifted away into memories of sand and surf until Brian spoke again.

“Justin is like an elevator,” Brian said flatly. Jake was brought back to reality, staring at the brunet in front of him.

“I’m not following.”

“Okay, um. Hmm. Okay, when you go on an elevator for the first time, there is always that … _lurch_ , right?” Brian let out a puff of air, watching it dissipate in front of him. “That lurchy feeling in your stomach, every time. Then, as you ride the same elevator over and over, after awhile you don’t feel the lurch anymore. You’re used to it. You’ve adapted.”

“Sure,” Jake said slowly, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His toes were slowly going numb. He shifted his weight.

“The first time I had sex with Justin, I felt that lurch. I got that stupid fluttery feeling in my stomach. The nervousness I feel on elevators. Will the cables break, making me crash and burn, or will I make it safely to where I need to go?” Brian shut his eyes and sighed. Jake’s features softened as he received this new insight to the enigma that was Brian Kinney.

“You obviously didn’t crash and burn,” Jake replied, taking a step closer to the brunet.

“No, I didn’t. I adapted. It became normal, routine.” He shook his head, as if he didn’t like his choice of words. “But always exciting. Like riding an elevator.”

Elevators are exciting? 

“…Okay when Justin fucked me, it was a little more exciting than riding on an elevator,” Jake laughed. Brian glared at him before smirking, laughing a little.

“No. I’m not talking about the actual ride. I’m talking about the feeling I get in my stomach. The lurch. Or the nervousness of waiting for the elevator doors to open.” 

“I see,” Jake replied. Brian had rolled his lips into his mouth and Jake tilted his head to the side, scrutinizing this new Brian Kinney. He was really quite beautiful when he wasn’t so scary.

“When an elevator feels like it isn’t moving, or is too quiet, I get scared,” Brian confessed. Jake got the impression that he didn’t use the word scared when referring to himself too often. “Something isn’t right if it’s too quiet. And I freak the fuck out, waiting for that ping that lets me know I’ve made it, or for the sound of snapping cables that lets me know I’m going to crash and burn.”

The great god Kinney is human, after all.

“I’ve had that feeling. Its like ‘ping, god dammit’. It sucks.” Jake felt as if he should add some sort of input about elevators. Truth be told, he was kind of confused. But he got the impression that he was witnessing a truly rare occurrence. Brian was expressing himself, his _feelings_.

“Exactly. And I was waiting for the ping with Justin.” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and rubbed his face, sighing. “He was too quiet, everything seemed so still. And I knew, I fucking _knew_ that I was waiting for something. A ping. A snap. Something wasn’t right.”

“And what did you do?” Jake asked, leaning closer. He was fully engrossed in Brian’s analogy, and despite its oddness, Jake could really see now how Justin was an elevator. 

He was trying to, at least.

“I waited. Like in an elevator, what can you do? I just waited.” He bit his thumbnail, pausing. “And, I thought it snapped. I thought I was going to crash and burn. But then everything pinged, and I knew what I was supposed to do…be with Justin.” Brian shrugged and smirked slightly.

“So what’s wrong?” Jake asked, noticing the wistful look of his dark hazel eyes.

“Well, this is like a completely different elevator,” Brian replied in all seriousness, meeting Jake’s gaze dead on.

“Okay…” Jake looked around, as if waiting for someone to jump out with a video camera. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, teeth clinking against metal. Brian bit his thumbnail again.

“Because no matter how used to the other elevator you are, you’ll still get that lurch every time you step on a new one. And the process repeats itself.” He moved his hand in a circular motion, demonstrating his point. “Being Justin’s boyfriend is like stepping onto a completely different elevator.”

Jake stared at him, a slight dumbfounded expression on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. “That’s profound, man.”

“Shut up,” Brian said, chuckling a little. “I know I’m not making any sense. But it makes sense to me.” He shrugged. “I’m expressing my feelings. I don’t do that often.”

“So I’ve heard,” Jake replied, rolling his eyes at the complete blatancy of that statement. He looked back and Brian, feeling the tension between them dissipate. “I have one question though.”

“What?” Brian asked, rolling his lips into his mouth again.

“Why is it like stepping onto a completely different elevator?” Jake inquired, running his hand through his sandy blond hair.

“Because it just is,” Brian shrugged. “Everything is going to change. I can feel it.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Brian retorted, scrunching up his face. He was trying to hide the fact that he had no clue why.

“Why do you think it’s going to change?” Jake prodded, holding out his hands as if weighing the options. “I mean, you guys were already fucking to begin with. You have been for a long time, as I understand it. You already liked each other, so now you both just admit it. You can be open with one another, and not hide anything. You can be more affectionate. You’ll be happier. What really has changed? And if something changes, why does that necessarily make it bad?”

Brian paused, thinking this over. He was amazed at how open and honest he was being with Jake. Figures. He can spill his guts to a stranger, but not his best friend. Jake had no expectations of him. To Jake, he was still a relatively blank canvas. It was refreshing.

“I don’t know. Not really anything, yet.” He let out a long whoosh of air, bouncing up and down on his frozen feet. “Except now I have this all encompassing fear that I’m going to fuck everything up and lose him forever.”

“Brian, you’re spending too much time worrying about what’s going to happen _later_ , that you’re going to miss what’s happening _now_ ,” Jake told him, reaching out to touch his shoulder in a friendly gesture. Brian smirked a little. He was right. “Don’t think about the future. Live in the now.”

“Don’t give me that live in the now shit,” Brian said, rolling his eyes. “I get enough of that from Ben.”

“Who’s Ben?” Jake asked curiously. 

“Michael’s boyfriend,” Brian replied, nodding a little. Jake nodded, but then looked back at Brian.

“Who’s Michael?” Brian stared at him, narrowing his eyes slightly. Then he laughed, bumping his shoulder against Jake’s.

“Did either of them _talk_ to you before they fucked you?” Brian asked incredulously. Jake glared at him and then laughed.

“Emmett didn’t fuck me. I fucked him,” Jake corrected, sticking his chin out defiantly with a smile.

“Well, that’s a given. It’s Emmett,” Brian laughed and Jake punched him in the arm.

He realized he wasn’t so scared of Brian anymore.

“Would you have talked to me about your friends?” He challenged, raising an eyebrow. Brian nodded.

“Touché.”

“Well, now that I’ve slutted my way through a third of your circle of friends, I’m hoping to kind of start over,” Jake laughed, scrunching his nose up in a way that reminded Brian of Emmett. “I want to be Justin’s friend. I want to be your friend, even. And Emmett, well, I like him a lot.”

“You aren’t a bad guy, Jake,” Brian conceded, lightly slugging him in the shoulder. Jake smiled.

“Thank you for noticing,” he replied. Brian slung his arm over Jake’s shoulders.

“Don’t ever touch my boyfriend again,” he warned. Jake grinned.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” he replied, draping his arm around Brian’s shoulders as well.

“Don’t hurt Emmett,” Brian added. Jake shook his head as if he would cut off his big toe before doing such a thing.

“Wouldn’t dream of it. You feel better?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” Brian replied, smiling.

“Good.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t worry about the future,” Brian told him, pulling away from him and shoving his hands back into his pockets. “Right now I should worry about fixing my current fuck up with the blond beau.”

“You were a big dick,” Jake offered.

“I like the phrase ‘you _have_ a big dick’ so much better,” Brian replied with a tongue in cheek smirk. Jake rolled his eyes.

“Go talk to Justin,” Jake told him, pushing him slightly in the direction of the diner.

“Okay. Let’s go.” They started back towards the diner, both contemplating their discussion. “And Jake? Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Jake replied with a smile. “Just don’t expect me to ever ride on an elevator with you.”

“Understandable.”

**

Justin looked up at Emmett, his hands still clutching his hair. Emmett was staring off into space, chewing absently on a fingernail. Justin closed his eyes and sighed. Worry was etched on both of their faces.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t go try to find them?” Justin asked, opening his eyes to look at Emmett again. The flamboyant teen shook his head.

“Jake came with me in my car, and Brian came with you in yours. We both have our keys. They didn’t go far,” Emmett told him.

“What if Brian is kicking his poor surfer ass right outside?” Justin asked worriedly. Emmett shook his head, waving his wrist.

“Please, that’s not happening.” Justin nodded. “I hope.”

“Emmett!” Justin shouted. The taller teen shrugged.

“Sorry,” he replied, ripping a napkin in his fingers. The bell above the door chimed and both boys looked over instantly. Brian and Jake waltzed in. 

They were laughing.

And smiling.

And what the fuck?

Brian dropped back into the booth and Jake followed suit. The surfer leaned over and kissed Emmett’s cheek. He grabbed Jake’s chin in his hand and moved it from side to side, obviously checking for bruises.

Satisfied that there were none, he kissed him softly.

Justin looked over at Brian and raised an eyebrow, almost smirking at the guilty expression on his boyfriend’s face.

“I’m sorry I acted like a dick,” Brian said softly. It obviously took a lot of willpower to say the word sorry. Justin smiled softly.

“You were a dick,” Justin teased. Brian stuck his tongue out at him.

“I know. Forgive me?” Brian said, giving his best puppy dog eyes. Justin rolled his eyes and pushed him away. Brian grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

Justin returned it happily, thrusting his tongue into Brian’s mouth. Justin leaned back against the wall, Brian lying between his legs. After a few minutes, Jake and Emmett looked at each other and shook their heads.

“Well, I’m glad that turned out well,” Jake said, sipping from his soda.

“What did you guys talk about?” Emmett asked, ever the gossip queen. Jake smiled and took another drink of his soda.

“Elevators,” Jake replied.

“Elevators?” 

“Elevators.” Jake smiled and Emmett narrowed his eyes at him. “Think they’ll ever stop?” He asked, gesturing towards the couple across from them. He could only see one of Brian’s hands, and it was making him uneasy. Emmett rolled his eyes and scooped an ice cube out of his glass. He leaned over and put the ice down the back of Brian’s shirt.

“Fuck!” He yelled against Justin’s lips. The blond looked around in surprise and Jake and Emmett laughed.

“Break it up boys,” Emmett told them. “It’s time to get on the dance floor.”


	15. Chapter 15

_”When are you two going to get married?” Emmett asked, inhaling deeply on the joint between his fingers. Brian scoffed, but pulled Justin tighter against him, wrapping his jacket around the shivering blond as the night air assaulted them in cool gusts._

_“We have set a date yet, but expect your announcement in the mail,” Brian replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Justin laughed softly as he looked up at the sky, his blue eyes reflecting the wisdom of someone who, at sixteen, had grown up too fast. Brian’s eyes reflected the same knowing quality, with just a hint of cynicism._

_“Brr,” Justin said. “It’s so cold.” Brian rolled his eyes. Justin was always cold. They were camping, for no other reason than to drink and get stoned away from their parents. He slid his warm hands under Justin’s shirt and the blond sighed contentedly._

_“Okay, whatever guys,” Michael laughed, taking the joint from Emmett’s long fingers. He took a deep drag, holding the smoke in as he unknowingly let the future tumble from his lips. “It’s only a matter of time.”_

_“Whatever you say,” Justin sang, smirking as he buried his face in Brian’s chest, resisting the urge to kiss it just because it was there._

_He was always resisting the urge to kiss him._

_“That’s what we say,” Michael and Emmett said in unison. Brian shut his eyes and wondered, for a tiny brief moment, if they were right._

**

_Dance, dance  
We’re falling apart to half time_

 

Michael and Ben made their way through the crowd, all sweaty bodies and graceful hips, gyrating to the thumpa thumpa that would long outlive them. Michael couldn’t believe it when Emmett had called them.

He was frantic, screeching over the loud music. The statement still rang in his ears.

_”Michael, they finally stopped being stupid.”_

He couldn’t wait to see for himself. He spotted Emmett and another blond, leaning against the bar. Michael and Ben stopped in front of him, and Emmett kissed them both on the cheek. 

“Where is the happy couple?” Michael asked with a grin. Emmett smirked and gestured down the bar, sloshing his pink drink around in his glass. All three boys looked over to see the tangle of lips and limbs that was Brian and Justin. 

Brian had Justin pinned against the bar, lips fused to his. His arms encircled the blond, lifting him to his tip toes. Justin’s hands were under Brian’s tee shirt, his thigh pressed between Brian’s legs.

“Oh wow,” Ben laughed. “How long have they been doing that?”

“Oh since we got here, for sure. I’m surprised they haven’t exploded,” Emmett replied. “This is Jake, by the way. My own little slice of heaven.” Jake blushed and shook their hands. Michael raised his eyebrow at Emmett, smirking.

“Hey,” Jake said. Michael nodded and looked back over at Brian and Justin.

“That’s unbelievable,” Michael said, still smiling. Emmett scoffed and looked over at them as well. Justin was sitting on the bar now, his legs wrapped firmly around Brian’s waist. The blond had his shirt pushed up to his shoulders, pale skin turned blue by the light.

“No it isn’t,” Emmett responded. “We all knew it was just going to happen sooner or later. The only people that couldn’t see they were in love was _them_.”

“I know,” Michael said, leaning against Ben. “It’s just…so awesome that it finally happened.”

“Agreed,” Emmett replied with a smile. He looked at his companions and then at the dance floor, vibrating with life. Ted made his way through the crowd and greeted them. After he had been introduced to Jake, his gaze was directed to the new couple. His eyes widened and he smiled.

“It’s about fucking time.”

** 

_Turn off the lights  
And turn off the shyness_

Brian felt Justin’s hard cock against his stomach as he attached his lips to Justin’s neck, sucking until there was a mark that would last for days. His large hands cupped Justin’s ass, kneading it with his fingers.

Justin licked his lips, feeling how swollen they were. His entire body tingled and burned, aching with desire for something more than lips on skin.

He wanted skin on skin, sweat and penetration.

He opened his eyes, blinking owlishly against the strobe lights and glittery bodies. He was so far gone, high on lust and relief, happiness and Brian’s touch.

He looked over, seeing his friends talking a few feet down. He tried to form words but his swollen lips wouldn’t move. It felt like Brian had swallowed his tongue. He bit his boyfriend’s ear as he took a deep breath, trying to regain the composure he had lost when Brian had pressed him against the bar and whispered “kiss me” in his ear.

“Brian,” he said, nipping his ear harder. “Everyone is here.”

“Less talking, more grinding,” Brian replied huskily, pulling on Justin’s hips to try to get him to continue a motion he didn’t even realize he had been doing. Justin laughed and pulled his head up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Brian sighed happily into his mouth, sliding his hands down his sides.

“Come on,” Justin told him as he hopped off of the bar. He took Brian’s hand and pulled him over to the small group of people. “Hey guys.”

“Hey Justin,” Michael replied, a knowing smirk playing across his lips. He looked over at Ted and Emmett, and the three of them took a deep breath.

“Told you so!” They shouted in unison, pointing at them. Brian rolled his eyes, pulling Justin out onto the dance floor by his belt loop.

Justin’s back arched, causing his chest to press against Brian’s as they danced to their own tune, the music falling on deaf ears. Brian touched him everywhere. His strong hands were in Justin’s hair, on his chest, his hips, his lower back. His fingers finally traveled down the back of Justin’s jeans, and he sighed. He ached for release, a feeling that only intensified when Brian’s fingers traveled down the cleft of his ass.

“Brian,” he whispered, his breath low and throaty. The brunet bit down on the flesh of his neck, making Justin shudder with desire. “Brian. Fuck me.”

Brian pulled back, his pupils dilated with lust. He started walking towards the backroom, pushing Justin backwards. “You want me to fuck you?” He asked, licking his lips. Justin nodded. “You want me to fuck your ass for everyone to see. So everyone knows you’re mine?” The blond nodded eagerly, already unbuttoning his pants.

Brian pulled him past the chains, into the shadowed room, his tan skin glowing blue in the dim light. Justin looked around at the bodies, some slick with sweat and naked, moving languidly. Some were fully clothed, moving hurriedly in a desperate attempt to get off. He looked back at Brian and swallowed hard.

_”It’s about time you spread your wings,” Brian called out one night, over the loud music of the club. A seventeen year old Justin looked over at him, brows furrowed._

_“It’s time I what now?” Justin replied, swirling his drink in his cup. Brian gave him a feral grin, full of mischief. It turned him on, making him feel doomed at the same time._

_“You’re going to experience the joys of voyeurism.” With that, Brian grabbed his wrist, leading him to a part of Babylon he had not yet experienced, the backroom. Justin bit his lip as Brian led him into the dark pit of a room, his senses instantly assaulted by the naked men, the moans, the smell of sex. His pupils dilated as his cock hardened in his jeans. He wanted Brian, wanted him to take him here. He turned to Brian, his lips parting._

_Brian spun him around, pulling his back against Brian’s toned chest. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders, reaching out to point out a petite brunet._

_“Him,” Brian whispered. Justin shook his head, trying to turn around, but Brian held him in place._

_“What?” Justin whispered, his heart sinking. His eyes skimmed over the brunet, clad in a pair of jeans. Brian’s finger curled, and that was all it took to beckon the young man over._

_“Fuck him, back here,” Brian said throatily. “Press him against the wall and take him. He wants you.” He bit Justin’s ear then, and the blond closed his eyes as the trick ran his hand down Justin’s cotton covered chest._

_He didn’t want this. He wanted Brian._

_But then Brian was gone. Justin turned, his eyes scanning the dark room. Brian already had a tall, dark trick pressed against the bricks. Black hair, tan skin, muscular. Everything Justin wasn’t. He stared at the scene like a horrendous crime being played out before him, shaking his head as the trick pulled him back, turning him around and sliding his hand over Justin’s crotch, leaning in to kiss his neck._

_Justin craned his head around to look at Brian once more, his head thrown back as he pounded into his willing trick. It was that moment that he pushed his own trick against the wall, rolling a condom down his own dick and yanking the trick’s pants down. He pushed into him, grabbing his shoulder and thrusting hard, trying so hard to be the protégé Brian wanted him to be, doing everything he wanted, so maybe one day Brian would want him, for more than a rushed fuck in a childhood bedroom. He pressed his face into the trick’s shoulder to hide the tears forming in his eyes._

Justin looked over at Brian, feeling unsure of himself. Brian, on the other hand, looked very confident, pulling Justin through the crowd, pushing him against the brick wall gently, grinning mischievously as he leaned in to kiss him. Justin closed his eyes and sighed against his lips, parting his lips and inviting Brian’s tongue into his mouth with his own, his hands lifting to rest on Brian’s shoulders. 

“Mm. So hot,” Brian mumbled as his fingers swiftly pushed down Justin’s jeans, reaching in to grab his hard cock. Justin moaned, fighting to keep his eyes open as the brunet started to stroke him.

Patrons of the backroom watched with wide eyes. Brian and Justin were known to frequent the backroom. They both had no trouble getting whoever they wanted. But they were never, ever seen together. Fucking each other. Everyone that knew them, or knew of them, watched the spectacle while meeting their own needs.

Brian kissed Justin once more before turning him around, resting his forehead between Justin’s shoulder blades as he fished a condom out of the pocket of his jeans, rolling it slowly down his hard cock. He took a deep breath as he spread lube on his dick, wiping his hand on the inside of his jeans. He leaned in and nipped at Justin’s ear.

“Ready?” He asked, the head of his cock pressing teasingly against Justin’s puckered hole. The blond swallowed hard and nodded, reaching back to grab Brian’s hip.

“Give it to me,” Justin panted, letting his head fall back on the taller boy’s shoulder, moaning as Brian penetrated him. It felt so good, so amazing, so fucking _right_ as he moved back against Brian, meeting his thrusts, digging his fingernails into the flesh of Brian’s ass. “More, give me more.”

Brian slid one hand around the blond’s torso, resting it flat against his boyish stomach as he slid into him faster, colors swirling in front of his eyes as he panted and groaned. He remained unaware of the many people watching this intimate act, eyes wide and mouths hanging open. All he cared about was pleasuring Justin, feeling the intense pleasure Justin created for him.

It was all about pleasure.

His body tingled, from his scalp to his feet. He vibrated with it, pleasure surging through every vein. It escaped from his lips in the form of strangled cries, muffled as he bit Justin’s shoulder.

His hand crept downwards, finding it’s way to Justin’s stiff, leaking cock. He stroked it in time with his thrusts, eliciting cries of pleasure from his boyfriend. Justin was so far past gone, unaware of everything except Brian behind him, fucking him into oblivion in a dirty, dark brick room.

Justin screamed out as he came, his fingers gripping Brian’s hip. He came seconds after, moaning into Justin’s neck.

Brian’s hand slid up Justin’s stomach, his lips moving on Justin’s neck, kissing him and whispering things the pulsing in his ears didn’t allow him to hear.

Justin became aware of everyone’s eyes on them, and part of them wished they wouldn’t stare, that they would allow them to share this moment in private.

But another part of him was glad everyone could see. He knew there would be whispers in the air tonight. They would all talk about it over the thumpa thumpa.

He finally had something more. He _was_ something more. He was Brian’s, and that was all he ever wanted.


End file.
